HAPPY 68th BIRTHDAY Helen Dear Helen I know it might seem to many that Ive abandoned you but truth is I havent felt like writing. But today, I do. Of course I miss you like crazy and I wish more than anything that the kids and I were driving to Brooklyn today to spend your special day with you. Wed pick you up and take you to eat somewhere nice and then maybe wed go do some shopping. Loni and TT would enjoy picking out a gift for you and you would simply enjoy them. Oh, how you would enjoy them, Helen Your grandsons shawn and Kievyn is going on 22years old. They have such huge hearts. Shawn thinks that you where the best thing on earth. He tells me all of the time that he misses you, Because you are a presence that is forever removed and your being gone has left him forever changed. He is such a lovely gentleman and a delight to be around. I just know that he would of been the light of your world. And this little girl i have. Helen she is something else. A real piece of work. She is strong-willed, loud, hilarious, and fascinating. She is my worst enemy and my very best friend all rolled into one. I never imagined that having a little girl would be so much fun. And while I feel she could easily beat the living day lights out of me, Shes going to be fourteen soon and I feel that Im just now getting to know her. Now that Im out of that dark hole of despair. Wish you was here to meet this new baby. Thats right. A new baby. Another boy. Yep Tony and Kerry had a beautiful baby boy and Oooo does he looks like he made himself, his peaceful serene child who is going to sleep really well at night. Because they deserve one of those. I wish that you were here to welcome him into this world. I know its been really painful to imagine having another child...one that doesnt know either of his grandparents... even a little bit. I try my best to keep you alive. Your memory at least. The kids know what you liked and how you were so kind. I keep your picture in a frame next to my bed . It is a constant reminder of your beauty and your kindness. There is a look of peace in your eyes in that picture... one that I only saw in person when you came to visit in London, That look helps me to not be scared of where Im going one day. Because you already had one foot there and it must have been glorious. Sophia and Carlos missies you so much at times I could hear their harts crying, Tony tries his best to keep his emotions under control and I must say he does it very well, plus hes the anchor in the family without him we was sure to go adrift. Ohhh btw he wrote one hell of eulogy, it made your mother cry. Things are hard right now. It seems that after you died, things started to go down hill and we are still trying to get our feet planted firmly on the ground again. I know that ultimately our every need will be provided but Im having to learn to truly do without for the first time in my life. I never realized until recently just how spoiled I truly was. But I never really had to want for anything. Now I want for so much that my head swims. Worst, I want for things for alondra. To worry about needing a bed for a child is foreign to me. This type of want has helped me to put things into perspective though. I now realize that a child can sleep on the floor or on the couch... there is no rule saying that they have to be in a bed. More specifically, their own bed! Im not to proud where I am in life. But I am proud of your children ad your grand children, And I feel proud of how I relied on God to pull me out of a hell that I cannot even describe with words. Took me nearly 5 years to get there, but finally I believe it. Helen, I hope that the angels are throwing you a big gigantic birthday party right now. I hope that you are sitting on that Appalachian front porch, alternating Between drinking your scotch and playing cards cause we all know thats your favorite pass time lol lol lol.And you have thick, glorious long golden hair and you are wearing a long patchwork skirt. And maybe Ill be there to celebrate your 100th birthday with you. Happy birthday Helen Uris Decan Cross From your loving children Gary Sophia Tony Donvito Carlos And all your grandchildren.
Posted on: Wed, 13 Nov 2013 03:17:39 +0000
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