HEALING SHAME we need to claim ourselves as lovable. Beyond trusting that others find us lovable to heal the implicit memory of shame – the contraction, the collapse, the “I’m awful” or “what’s really true is nobody loves me and nobody ever will” – with emerging self- compassion, self-empathy, self-acceptance. Self-empathy shelters the personal self that is having these experiences. “How painful it is that that memory of the experience of shame is here again. Oh, this is so bad; this is so awful, so painful. And I can love myself through every bit of it. To heal trauma of shame When we have a hard time transmuting the empathy of others into empathy for ourselves, it helps to get the oxytocin flowing by first extending compassion to a beloved other rather than focusing on ourselves. “Bring to mind someone you love, someone you can unreservedly, unconditionally love. This could be a benefactor, a dear friend, a beloved child or a beloved pet. Feel the love you feel for them in your body. Sense the flow of love from you to them. Then, when that’s steady, simply slip your inner self into that flow. Keep the love and empathy. Let it flow to yourself. If you can, let yourself receive the love and empathy; receive the care, feeling loved and cared for by your larger self
Posted on: Thu, 27 Mar 2014 11:34:21 +0000