**HERES TO ANYONE WHO WANTS TO READ WHAT I WROTE FOR CLASS** So you all can get a glimpse at what life has been like for me over the last 7 months. :) What They Don’t Tell You About Depression by Cici Monique “I feel so depressed right now.” How many times have we heard or used that? Twice already today. “Depressed,” is tossed around like a hot potato but when someone is actually suffering from this silent illness people don’t understand. They pass judgment and tell you to get it together or say things like, “it’s all your head” or “you’re gonna be alright.” What they don’t tell you about depression is that it’s beyond the realm of sadness. It’s not something you can just get over in due time. It’s debilitating. It takes over your entire life – your marriage or relationship, your job, your school, your parenting, your everything! You lose yourself and all that you used to be. What they don’t tell you is that depression builds an invisible wall around you that you can’t see. What they don’t tell you is sleep doesn’t come easy anymore. At night your mind succumbs to anxiety and thoughts race a mile a minute. You toss and turn watching the clock tick twenty minutes at a time as you struggle to fall asleep. Once you’re finally asleep you wake a million fricken times a night because all the nightmares you have. When morning comes most people look forward to what the day might bring. But you, every day you dread bearing another day on earth. Are you even on earth? You’re so detached from the world around you, in your own little world of sorrow dragging a ball and chain. What they don’t tell you is depression replaces all your healthy behaviors. Before you know it, you’ve stopped to talking to friends, seeing family and watching your favorite TV show. Your laundry hasn’t been done in a month. You haven’t showered in three days. Every dish in your home is marinating in dirty dish water you set eight days ago. The floor is nowhere to be found, buried underneath trash and clothes. You don’t even notice the mess your life has become, walking right through it all, headed straight to the room to drown in despair again. What they don’t tell you about depression is that unlike sadness, you cannot find the light at the end of your tunnel. There is no beginning and no end to it. You’ve lost all hope and your heart is heavy, filled with guilt, misery, regret, pain and worry. Unlike sadness, the grass is not greener on the other side. There isnt even another side. Hell, there is no place beyond yourself. Unlike sadness, depression pushes you over the edge. You just want it to be over. And what sadness doesn’t fathom is the thought that ending your life just might be the only way out. What they don’t tell you about depression is the fact that if you’re breathing, that’s sure sign that you will survive. There’s a crack in everything, that’s how the light gets in. YOU are the only thing preventing your happiness. What the depression doesn’t want you to know is that you are in control of your life. Everything that the depression doesn’t want you to do is exactly what you should do if you want to recover. Remind yourself by washing dishes, taking a shower and having a night out. The depression will regress the louder you scream, “I won’t back down!” What they don’t tell you about depression is that when you reach the finish line you’ll be invincible.
Posted on: Wed, 29 Oct 2014 22:37:12 +0000
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