HE’S AN OLD GUY......... The grandsons from upstate came down yesterday to attend the Eagle’s home opener. For their first time driving to the Philadelphia sports complex, they did great, arriving back home about 6:00, hungry and excited. We decided on Applebee’s for supper. We had a delightful time eating together with the boys sharing, with much gusto, the excitement of the crowd, the fist pumping that went on, and of course,the thrill of an Eagle’s victory. When the meal was over, our server asked if we wanted any dessert, and since there were donuts and cookies at home, we declined. She smiled at us and pointed to the tablet-computer sitting on the end of the table next to me. It was one of those computers connected to the kitchen where you can order appetizers, desserts, or any other items without bothering the server. They’re pretty convenient and speed things up when you want to leave. “Well,” she said, “You can just use your credit card and pay right here. It makes it a lot easier,” she looked at me. Then she pulled the trigger. “It’s not too hard, and if you have a problem,” she smiled, “You can just ask these guys to help you out,” nodding at the grandchildren. She wheeled around and headed back toward the kitchen. Immediately, because of my rapid fire brain, I translated what she said as follows: “Okay kids, you’re going to have to help the old guy, who obviously has no computer literacy at all. You’ll probably have to show him how to slide his credit card. Sorry to do this to you, but it’s the fastest way.” Can you believe this? I wanted to say to her, “Hey you.... I bought my first computer in 1983, over 30 years ago, before you were born. Since it’s obvious to you I am too incompetent to work this, guess what will happen to your tip?” I began acting like an ape as I attempted to fiddle with the computer. The kids laughed until the tears were running down their face. Hah! Too old to operate a tablet in Applebees? The waitress in Applebees just handed me tonight’s Lament. Until.... Sue got involved. “Did you ever think there are some men your age who come in to eat who don’t know how to use a computer? Maybe she was trying to be gracious by giving that person a way out, you know, not embarrass them. And at the same time she was complimenting the grandchildren by assuming it would be child’s play for them. Isn’t that possible?” Duh.... maybe Sue should write the Lament Of course, what her little “sermon” did was simply destroy my judgments, tore down my critique, and caved in my position by lifting up the other side of a conversation. Now, I’m smart enough to know there are multi-sides to any verbal exchange, while at the same time resisting any side other than my own. I like my position on things, otherwise it wouldn’t be my position. Given the chance, I would gather a group of witnesses to support my views, even advocate on my behalf. The difficulty is that once I heard Sue lift up another side, I couldn’t just ignore it, you know, simply bury it. Even if there was one chance out of five she was right, I needed to at least look at it. But not before I write this Lament. So, I’ve written it, and I don’t feel any better. My grandson suggested I go back to the restaurant and ask the waitress what she meant by her insensitive comment. (Oops, my term).. I’m not going to do that. Then I would just give validity to her view that old men are crotchety. I’m between a rock and a hard place. So.... as I write here so often, I’ll just let it go - maybe hack into her account and give her a tip! My Lament for tonight is for the unfounded judgments and criticisms we place on others without looking at the other side. It is also for the consequences of such thinking to truly seeing one another as well intentioned and caring people.
Posted on: Mon, 08 Sep 2014 21:57:04 +0000
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