HOT OFF THE PRESSES! My girl Tira Nicole Olivers weekly hilarious #Scandal recap: …..*sigh* of course my damn FB would freeze up like B613 did whilst typing my recap so I’m taking it to the laptop…..WELL WELL WELL KIDDIES!! Tonight’s THESE HEAUXS AIN’T LOYAL recap is brought to us by the 1-800-FLOWERS, and Boone’s Farm. So let’s see……Abby’s white coat didn’t fit and she quickly learned that NOBODY likes the substitute teacher; Andrew’s black eye was pretty much still, well, black…..Senator Byron Daddy Pope promised Liv what ALL dads promise their daughters – no dear, I won’t kill your boo; Liv threatened to send Huck back to the damn green line metro if..he….EEEEEEEEEEEVER….was insubordinate again; Huck told Liv that she would have to drop it like it was baking on Jake so she could steal those secrets; Mama Pope has THE….BEST…BEDHAIR….EVER….Sally Langston/Carrie’s mama/Mama Grey be STILL acting up and them heauxs be LETTIN’ HER; that other candidate got caught being greasy and it was on the Vine, Liv let Jake’s dumb arse push her pannies to the side (can we PLEASE retire this phrase now) and let her steal them secrets for the Vine; poor little assistant in training with the cute little pittypat fro pinup got her neck slashed for the Vine; Liv told Fitz she felt like the FLUFFER; Andrew wasn’t finna give up his Christmas cookies until Liv told him she would put all of his dirty laundry out on the Vine; Andrew then politely told Mellie he wasn’t giving her HIS Vine (see what I did there); Mellie then slapped the white off of Fitz because she NEVER GETS TO KEEP NICE SHINY THINGS FOR HERSELF; Cyrus told Liv “ain’t nobody got time for you, boo”; Pope and Associates had more pull than Pepco, Sprint, Washington Gas and Comcast combined and SHUT B613 DOWN; Jake thought he was going to Wrestlemania and almost chokeslammed Liv and pressed her fresh perm against the glass door…..Liv keeps wondering if she’ll be singing Vesta Williams’ (god rest her soul) “Congratulations” since her and Fitz won’t be together; Mama Pope and Senator Byron Daddy Pope were finna throw Ginsu knives at each other between stuffed mushrooms and steak tartar in the middle of McCormick and Schmicks’ during family dinner; AND MAMA POPE STRUTTED IN THAT RESTAURANT LIKE HER WRISTS DIDN’T STILL LOOK LIKE RAW CHICKEN. Hmph. May your britches stay moist, your pincurls be FLAWLESS like Mellie’s when she was picking out those blue ties, and your swing coats be roomy. Oh, and free Breezy! Night night! HAHAHAAA!!! LMAO PWAAAAHHAHAHAAA!!!
Posted on: Fri, 04 Apr 2014 03:53:17 +0000
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