HOW I WAS CAUGHT IN LONELY - HEARTS CIRCUS By Pablo Yagayo A man who claims to be of dark complexion, below average height and jobless is looking for a beautiful light-skinned woman, tall and financially stable to marry him. In case you are that woman, please let me know and I will give you his cell phone number. I found it in one of the newspapers which had dedicated a whole page to ‘Lonely Hearts.’ I always had doubts about this lonely-hearts fad. Some may be genuine but I later found out that most of them were ghosts, fraudsters or outrightly lazy people who want to reap what they did not sow. In a cheeky streak, I responded to one of them, and indeed received my share of the bargain. A ‘lonely heart’ was looking for an Asian man who was willing to start a wholesale shop for her and take her to Dubai before they get married. However, she made it clear that Indians should not apply. I sent her a text message telling her that I was willing to meet all her terms and conditions but was disqualified because I was Indian and I signed off as city mogul Sudhir Ruparelia Junior. She called instantly apologizing that it was a typographical error by the newspaper editor who added ‘NOT’ in her message. Apparently she claimed that she wanted only Indians to apply. I told her, in a rich Indian accent, that I was sending my assistant to verify if she was serious and to set an official appointment at a five-star hotel. I met the lady at the rendezvous. She had carried a sheep for me to deliver to tycoon Sudhir Ruparelia Junior. Her friends told her that mutton is a direct link to an Indian man’s heart. I did not know what to do with the sheep. I asked the waiters to find space for it in the parking lot. I was interested in knowing why she wanted a wholesale shop and a trip to Dubai in particular. She did not hesitate to tell me that she wanted the shop for social status amongst her peers and to visit Dubai so that she can fit in their conversations. I asked her about her previous relationships and she took me on a rollercoaster of her social escapades. She had immense experience in failed marriages. I did not know what to tell her but promised to get back to her after talking to my boss tycoon Sudhir Ruparelia Junior. She escorted me to the car and helped me fit the sheep in my car trunk. It was not easy transporting that animal. It kept bleating until I got tired of it and gave it to the traffic policemen as a gift for their hard work. Little did I know that I was dealing with a shrewd woman. I would find at least 69 missed calls and 83 text messages on my phone from her in less than fifteen minutes expressing her undying love for my boss. She harassed me with phone calls until I had to throw the sim card away. I was flipping through the television channels recently when I saw her paraded amongst 10 girls on a love connection show aptly dubbed ‘Be My Date.’ The idea was to have a lonely man introduce himself to the ladies and they decide whether he is worth their time. Surprisingly, most of the male contenders seemed to be more interested in the host of the show than the contestants. I decided to call her and wish her luck as one of her biggest fans. She was extremely excited to know that she had acquired fame and celebrity status instantly. However, she was quick to notice that I sounded like Sudhir Ruparelia Junior’s assistant. I immediately run a disclaimer and threw away my cell phone sim card. ............... Ha ha ha! That was PABLOS HUMOR for you! In case youve been waiting for a book that compiles his humerous articles and jokes to, then your prayer has been answered because WORLD OF INSPIRATION is in the process of publishing his maiden book, so stay tuned. In the meantime, today Saturday #24thJune, from 8am to 8pm, all inspirational products at WORLD OF INSPIRATION (books, DVDs, #4thJuneAuthorsForumTickets, Authors Forum subscription, Public Speaking course for coming up next at our School of Inspiration, e.t.c) are selling at a 5% discount in our PROMOTIONZ SATURDAY. Simply come to our office (Luwum Street, MM Plaza T33) or call 0700487768 / 0774107287 / 0414691595. Stay inspired and blessed!
Posted on: Sat, 24 May 2014 04:06:51 +0000
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