HOW SHOULD ONE RESPOND TO A PERSON’S ANGRY SPEECH? Our natural neurological reaction is to attack back or flee. In human relationships, this works poorly: anger begets anger. The challenge is enormous: if you embrace the golden rule of speaking to others as you would like them to speak to you, you must strive to respond with compassion, or tactfully withdraw yourself from a dialog doomed to fail. So I ask you, when you feel angry, should you be honest and express how you feel, especially if you know the other person will get defensive? How do you transform the heart and mind of people who upset you? The first step is easy: think about what you want to say before you say it, and imagine how the other person may respond. Then speak slowly and briefly, not longer than 20 seconds. Stop, relax, and listen deeply. Then know that the really hard work is about to begin. Remember this fundamental neurological fact: each person’s brain has a different notion of what is real. Even when we think we understand the other person, deep dialog will prove that you barely grasp another person’s intentions, desires, or beliefs. But if you remain true to your deepest values, your compassion and self-love will resonate deeply in the other person’s brain.
Posted on: Mon, 26 Jan 2015 02:05:00 +0000
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