HOW TO HAVE A GREAT AUTHOR VISIT... --Suspend math, social studies, and other subjects to focus all your time and energy on studying the authors books. --Make sure all the obnoxious kids are absent on the day of the author visit. --Tell the author how good his presentation is compared with that lousy author you had last year. --Before each presentation, have the PTA moms form a kick line and perform Boolah-Boolah. --If kids ask for autographs, have security guards wrestle them to the ground and take them away. --Hire Wolfgang Puck to prepare a luncheon feast for the author. --Have a teachers aide practice forging the authors signature so he doesnt have to write his name over and over again. --Between presentations, have native girls in bikinis feed grapes to the author while he reclines on a comfy couch. --At the end of the visit, give lots of pictures to the author--pictures with dead presidents on them.
Posted on: Thu, 06 Nov 2014 13:14:19 +0000
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