HOW TO MAKE YOUR EX REALIZE WHAT THEY LOST. The truth is - Most, if not all of us, want someone who has rejected us to realize just how much they’ve lost. Some exes do indeed realize just how important we’re in their lives. But sometimes however good partner material you are, you can’t persuade your ex that you have all the qualities they are looking for in a partner. In the beginning of the relationship,they were sure that you are “the one”, but as time went on, you failed to measure up to expectations.They became more and more dissatisfied with the relationship because it did not meet their needs & wants. Feeling unsatisfied & unhappy, they make the decision to end the relationship despite the fact that they still has strong feelings for you. The conflict between your ex’s feelings of love & their unmet needs & wants often plays out in how your ex interacts with you & the decisions they make about you. On one hand, they could have strong feelings for you & on the other hand,they feel that the relationship does not meet their wants & needs. On one hand, they feel that they lost someone they love & on the other hand they think it’s what’s best if they have to have a chance at happiness in life. If you don’t know the wants and needs driving the decisions your ex is making about you, you may find yourself confused by the mixed signal they are sending you. To you,they come across as confused & do not know what they wants but to them,they see you as incapable of meeting their important needs & wants. The truth is - Knowing the wants & needs driving the decisions your ex is making about you can help you not only communicate your value more effectively, but also determine if you have a chance of getting them back or if you are just wasting your time trying to get back someone who is firmly determined to move on without you because they maybe dont appreciate you. The best way to find out is to ask. You can learn a great deal about you & someone by simply asking. Asking takes away the guess work & gives you a more accurate & complete picture of what’s important to your ex than trying to figure things out on your own. Always - Keep in mind that what someone wants & what their needs are often two different things. Many of us may not know exactly what we want, but we always know what we need. Your task is to determine what are your ex’s wants & what are their true needs. If they immediately state what they want,then that is what they want. Don’t try to over-analyze the information to make it fit your story of what you think they should want. If they appear to struggle with answering the question or is indecisive, ask about what they are struggling with & why. Remember ASK, not tell or explain to them what you think they are struggling with, and why. Once you have this knowledge, you can use it to develop effective conversations that demonstrate to your ex that what you offer meets his/her most important wants and needs, and trigger positive action. The more you know about the needs & wants driving your ex’s decision about you, the more easily you can demonstrate why being in a relationship with you is something they can’t afford to lose.
Posted on: Mon, 27 Oct 2014 04:53:54 +0000
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