HOW YOU KNOW WHEN YOUR COVEN IS TOO OLD ~LL~ just a little humor for the morning!!! Your ritual feast is Pureed! Last Beltane, the coven decided it would be nice to go out to dinner to celebrate! The last time you tried to do a Spiral Dance, your oxygen lines got tangled! censored is kept in the coven supplies! The Maiden of the Coven is a grandmother! The ritual room is outfitted with defibrulators! The Coveners drive their RVs to Scottsdale for Mabon! When you are at a festival you go to bed at sunset! It takes the whole coven to move the cauldron! The High Priest still has a vendetta going against Richard Nixon! You use your pendulum on the stock page of the newspaper! You tell an initiate that you had to slog thru 5 feet of snow uphill both ways to do a Yule ritual! You drop your teeth in the ritual cup! At Samhain you see more of your coveners in the Wild Hunt than you do in the circle! You put your athame in the chalice during ritual and cant remember why! You hold an all night blow-out drum frenzy and your neighbors dont notice You use Glenn Miller records to meditate to! All your ritual robes are tie-dyed! Your coven has a 401k ! A nitro pill vial replaces the crystal on your pendant! No ones successfully jumped the Beltane fire since 1983!! When you set comfy chairs around the circle! When you sit on the floor and cant get up again! You do annointings with Aspercreme! The oak tree your coven planted died of old age! You use bran muffins and prune juice for cakes and ale! You dont use salt to consecrate your altar cause you need to stay away from the extra sodium! You use a walker during the Wild Hunt!! You prefer to rent a hall for rituals cause the bathrooms are closer! and last but not lease; You need a flashlight to find the candles!!! courtesy of Wicca Chat
Posted on: Mon, 04 Nov 2013 16:14:23 +0000
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