HUMILITY AT ITS BEST ! Some people believe that healers are above being human. Nothing is further than the truth! Lol ....I am a living breathing example of that! Lol.....Have I got a story for you !!! So as some of you know I was scheduled to have a date last night, as some of you also know I have been discussing the issue of my weight ! The TRUTH is I sent my prospective date a full body picture of myself on Saturday and all day yesterday I didnt hear a word back. Well typically human , and typically female , I ran the gauntlet of emotions ! Disappointment, rejection , anger, lack of faith in myself and the universe, sadness, then resolve, pride, and rejection of him...all day long I allowed those feelings to be expressed . I came to the conclusion that any man who judged by looks, completely disregarding the value and integrity , trust and love from another , was , in the end, not good enough for me, and most certainly was not a soul mate!. Imagine my shock when at about 8.30pm last night I received a phone call. As I had deleted him from my phone, removed my profile from the dating site, and acknowledged defeat when it comes to dating, when he said hello , I responded with whos this? ..........lol........ It was him . he had been at his parents for the weekend. His brother had brought his children over. His children had lost his phone. He had only found it when they were all packing up to leave. He had NO phone all day yesterday ! I was in shock! I couldnt believe I had allowed this to happen. I lost my faith yesterday ! For the WHOLE ENTIRE DAY! .....Why? I gave permission for my brain to manipulate and convince me that I am not good enough! I was shocked by that! I hadnt even listened to my brain for some years now ! Lol ...I was shocked to find that there are triggers for me that can undo all I have learned in my life ....that I am still willing to secretly punish myself, put myself down, tell myself this is all happening because you dont deserve !. I was shocked I was capable of going straight to judgement of another. I was shocked by the fact that as I relayed to him everything that I had judged him for yesterday , he shrugged off ! I apologised profusely and he said there was no need. He was calm, he was just chatting away like nothing had happened, not an ounce of judgement towards me . THE LESSON: I am still effected by triggers in my life that can lead me directly backwards to shame and lack of self worth. TRUTH: No-one lead me there but me. LIE: I am not good enough, I am not beautiful, I am not worth it . OUTCOME: All is restored, gratefully no damage was done, I am still openhearted and trusting! Probably more so than I was before ! I said to Shaun I really need to change the expectation that I will automatically be let down, just because it has happened in the past.....Blessed BE! ..........LOVE Kel xxx FOOTNOTE: When Shaun realised it was him on the phone and all was well , and I had put myself through hell all day for no reason ....he could NOT stop laughing ! Lol .....The little shit !
Posted on: Sun, 21 Sep 2014 19:43:44 +0000
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