Had a retrospective kind of day. Was out on the swing reading the paper and my thoughts reverted back to the conversation I had with big D, Holly, Natasha, Melina and Nadine on Friday evening. My thoughts also reverted back to the moment I heard that Robin Williams had committed suicide. My first thought was not one of selfishness- my first thought was hey you are at peace now, my comrade. Not for one instant did I judge him and thinkHow could he do this to his family? You fought a courageous battle for over 50 years,but ultimately, the damned demon won. How can one call a person selfish after enduring what this man endured day after day for the majority of his life ,but kept fighting until he had no fight left in him? How can anyone call this man weak? I thought back to some of my darkest moments and the times I did come close to giving up, but didnt. Luckily for me, I havent reached the tipping point that Robin Williams reached---yet ; I hope that day never arrives. So, PLEASE dont ever accuse a person with Mental Illness of being weak, for if we were , many of your loved ones would not be around today. Often, when we wake up in the morning our first thought is: do I have to go through another day of this. Some days we cannot WILL ourselves out of bed, the same way a person with paraplegia cannot will themselves to get up and walk. If some of you dont think these two examples are not one in the same --- boy, you have ABSOLUTELY NO idea what mental illness is about. So, to Robin Williams and my fellow-fighters, I thank you for giving me the courage to share some of the feelings I have had pent up for far too long. We will let the world know that we are strong & that we will -hopefully- someday be able to talk openly & freely without being judged for something that was thrown upon us -something we would like to live--- for just ONE day--- without.
Posted on: Sun, 17 Aug 2014 21:33:18 +0000
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