Had cataract removed from left eye at 1:00 pm today. I had imagined the surgeon as a middle aged, military sort who’d sit me down, pop the eyeball out with his two thumbs, wipe it on the hairy lapel of his Harris tweed jacket, make a little slit with a Stanley knife, squeeze out the duff lens and pop in the nice new one before bunging it back in again saying, ‘Now bugger off, old chap, no Rugger for a day or two. All tickety-boo, what!’ But no, the surgeon was a small oriental looking man of about 19, wearing what looked like a baseball cap on back to front (like William Haig in the olden days). He stuck a paper bag over my left eye, ripped a hole out of the bag, and made me stare at a light as bright as the sun while he did something with a laser which, I think, could be dangerous in the wrong hands. All done in about 15 minutes. Amazing. It was only on the way home that I looked at the card bearing the surgeons name; Mr Dong. Thankfully not King Dong or Long Dong but I do think it invites entendres being doubled. If I were him I’d consider changing it, by Deed Poll, to something more English but with a similar ring to it. How about ‘Allcock’?
Posted on: Sat, 29 Mar 2014 16:16:58 +0000
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