Happy Friday Eve! I want to take a moment here for something serious. November 2 is looming. It is my fathers birthday. I just wanted to get some thoughts off my chest... My father died on his birthday. Caring for him during his last year was the most amazing thing for my family. The heaviest physical burdens fell upon my wonderful brothers, Lee and Trey Howell. We will never truly know what my mother went through during this time but she had a lot of decisions to make in the midst of some of lifes weightiest emotions. My father could be so frustrating, he always wanted to be the only one talking, always wanted an audience, always knew he was right and there was NO brooking him on that. But on the other hand, he was one of the kindest, gentlest, most loving grown men Ive known. He and his brother, my Uncle Danny, grew up so poor, with a mentally ill and abusive father and a beautiful mother who was savvy enough to get around their father for her boys as best she could. As a result of his upbringing, my father wanted to give his children everything. And he did. Perhaps too much so. I do miss my father. Sometimes I wonder what I miss more, having him there for me, or having him there for my mother. But having him there just for himself? No. Because my father had Alzheimers. Blessedly, he passed from cancer before he was lost to the Alzheimers. Blessedly, he never had any pain from his cancer. This was a huge gift from Spirit! When I was growing up, there was music in my home in the evenings. Somewhere in my teens it stopped; I dont know why. But when I was younger, my father would play records. He loved the smooth, light, popular country music or anything with a banjo. He loved so many fine artists but one of his favorites was Glen Campbell. As you might know, Glen Campbell also has Alzheimers. His last album was poignant and helped me in many ways to see the beauty in the small things still found in this disease. This morning I found a new video Glen Campbell has released. Reportedly it is his last. His talent shines through and in watching this, I feel a closeness to my father. And it made me think of one of the final blessings that often is encountered with this awful disease... the forgetting can sometimes take away the sick persons pain. Thank you, Spirit, for the blessings found in the midst of sad or scary times..... https://screen.yahoo/vevo-country/im-not-gonna-miss-142315234.html
Posted on: Thu, 16 Oct 2014 12:53:03 +0000
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