Happy Purim continuation.....A holiday to pray... be happy....but not necessarily to fake...... I have received an unprecedented amount of messages to my post earlier about the devastating pain in my heart which probably resembles ground zero.... and my inability to even utter one word of tefilla....as a result of such intense tzar... It is a shock to me even... as I am a huge believer in prayer.... and I daven a ton.....but sometimes the pain runs so deep that one becomes numb... it is at a time like this that I drove to the Lubavitcher Rebbes kever and sat on the floor and cried that HaShem take the broken pieces of my heart and piece them together into a form of prayer..... it says work of the heart is prayer... so I am sure that my heartfelt tears in my heart and on my face are stronger prayers than anything I could have said... As it says there is nothing more whole than a broken heart... I felt that even if I can not daven... at least I do not want to lose this auspicious opportunity... (the power of prayer on Purim...) so let me at least beseech a Tzaddik to daven for me... on a holiday in which we celebrate the revealing of HaShemss presence being hidden... it is befitting to unveil the rawness of pain that we mask all year round... the tears hidden behind the fake smiles... life is hard....for many ..... I had posted that anyone that wants me to write their name in a kvittel at the kever can pm me... little did I know that I would write dozens of names.... the messages came in fast and they were heartbreaking... I thought of the words that Yirmiyahu said al aileh ani bochiya... and I wondered if tonight was Tisha bav or Purim.. There is no way to deny that there is tremendous suffering and tzaros amongst klal Yisrael.... on an individual level and as a whole... the messages and amount of names I have received tonight are proof... the desperation and salvation people are begging HaSHem for are devastating.... Purim is the only yom tov that will be celebrated after MaShiach arrives. May Mashiach arrive today and may HaShem reveal His true glory to all of us... May the truth, which is the Torah be revealed and may sinas chinam be eradicated from amongst us..... (This is precisely what the Lubavitcher Rebbe ztl was saying in his shiur on the video... that the Torah is infinite....and the truth... ) May we continue to celebrate with Mashiach al kanfei nesharim all the way to the rebuilding of the third and final Bais Hamikdash which has surely been built in shamayim through our tears.... on a separate note..... it says in the Megilla that in response to Mordechai telling Esther to speak to Achashveirosh......Esther sent a message to Mordechai that there is a rule that anyone that approaches the king without permission will be killed... Mordechai responded reply to Esther: Do not imagine that you will be able to escape in the kings palace any more than the rest of the Jews. For if you persist in keeping silent at a time like this, relief and deliverance will come to the Jews from some other place, while you and your fathers house will perish. AND WHO KNOWS WHETHER IT WAS JUST FOR SUCH A TIME AS THIS THAT YOU ATTAINED THE ROYAL POSITION! Then Esther said to reply to Mordechai: Go assemble all the Jews to be found in Shushan, and fast for me. Do not eat or drink for three days, night or day; I, with my maids, will fast also. then I will go in to the king thought its unlawful; and if I perish, I perish. Mordechai then left and did exactly as Esther had commanded him. (4;13-17) Those words are such strong and clear words that can be internalized to all of us.... If someone is rich... who knows why they were blessed with riches? perhaps it is to help others.... If someone is in pain and is not scared to publically blog about it..... perhaps I was put in this situation to voice my feelings so others can gain chizuk that they are not alone? I dont know... what we do know is that each person is here in this world with a specific mission .. it is up to us whether we will use our talents and opportunities to help others... the people in need of help will get help just as Mordechai told Esther... but the choice of helping others is our choice to make.... we will earn the rewards... or suffer the consequences... It is beautiful to see so many good people in this world... and I hope to always use my talents and strengths to help others and do HaShems will... I like to write and have no shame in writing my raw sincere feelings... Why should I be ashamed of the life HaShem blessed me with and the human feelings I have as a result? No one is made of steel..... Based on the amount of feedback of so many messages testifying to the shared pain... I know I am doing the right thing by sharing my feelings...Being a voice for others whom are not strong enough to lift their mask is something I am happy to do... no matter who may laugh at it... anyone that can laugh at another persons pain is not someone I care about... nor do I care about their opinion... I can only pray they develop some empathy and strength that Esther had... as she was willing to perish for the sake of her people... Shoshanas Yaakov.... The rose of Jacob was cheerful and glad, when they JOINTLY saw Mordechai robed in blue. You have been their eternal salvation, and their hope throughout generations. To make known that all who hope in You will not be shamed; nor ever be humiliated, those taking refuge in You........ Blessed be Esther (who sacrificed for me).....
Posted on: Sun, 16 Mar 2014 07:25:03 +0000
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