Having walked in composer circles in the last few years, Ive come to learn a few things about the social dynamics. Long post, and no huge point to the below, only some observations and personal reflections. Were generally an open, friendly bunch. Often sensitive, sometimes too sensitive, and inward looking, consistent with many other people of a creative bent. The openness and friendliness can be seen as strange to some who see the imbalance between a small number of well-paid gigs and the large number of composers lining up for them. Surely its supposed to be fierce and competitive? Yet its not, save for very few instances which are so rare that theyre notable enough to become well known quickly in the wider community. Composers who are accomplished instrumentalists vs composers who have a mastery of every one of a thousand buttons, vs those fairly good at both - these lines of division tend to draw people into camps - the epic trailer camp, the EDM camp, the manuscript and pencil camp, the instrumental/vocal camp etc., but those camps are ultimately of the same tribe, the music makers, diverse as we are, and there is fruitful collaboration across these camps. Insecurity of ones place in the musical world is prevalent too, and over time Ive grown aware of various kinds of snobbery - some who look down on self-trained composers who didnt study notation and theory, or some self-trained composers who look down on music degree-educated / conservatory-trained composers who cant get a gig because they struggle to relate to other people (for example). The snobbery is not necessary, theres plenty of room for everyone. But the snobbery is not as prevalent as the insecurity. One social insecurity is surprisingly mutual - some with a day job envying those who compose full time, and some full-time composers who envy those with a different and steady source of income. I suffer the former insecurity, and Id love to provide for my family solely with music, but Im not there yet and Im not sure I will ever be. Having accumulated a whole professional skill set completely outside of music for the last 17 years means Id be selfishly denying my kids opportunities by turning my back on that perfectly good source of income for what is a somewhat more risky position of relying on gigs and royalties. If I could turn back the clock, or if I had no children, Id start doing what I loved for long enough and hard enough to be in a similar place to where I am now outside of music, in time for my family. But I cant. And Im not brave enough or selfish enough to make that choice mid-career and with 4 other educations to fund in the future. I sometimes worry that full-time composers who face the artists struggle look at me as an outsider - a wannabe who already has a career; why should I be intruding here and further diluting what is already a crowded market? Why am I pretending to be a composer when actually Im a finance geek? A couple of names come to mind, people in our circles who I think think this. And with further thought I realise its not actually my insecurity, its theirs. Everyone has their fair chance. I will play in this game too, whether that annoys them or not. If any of this ramble has a point, its this: You, the steady full-time composer, are a special breed, one I remain in humble respect of. You continuously face great risks, an ever-changing marketplace and an unpredictable income but youve built your channels of revenue enough to sustain full-time work, and no overnight miracle success. I stand on a different path and doff my hat to you. And I love this wider community we walk together in. I am many things. But I am a composer. I will always make music and I will always seek to grow and learn within it. But always under the moon, and always with a head full of fantasies which happen to be your reality. For my kids, its worth every moment and Im ok with it.
Posted on: Thu, 15 Jan 2015 23:41:37 +0000
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