He who forgets never remembers. A piece for the president when he was...it was too complicated then sha. ROLL CALL Ladies and gentle men, we thank you so much for staying till the end of this national drama in our theatre of the absurd. The talent on this stage today can perform on Broadway any day. There is no actor on this stage today that has not shown his or her talent to the fullest. Even those given small roles, found a way to magnify them. As you all know, we cannot acknowledge everybody. But rest assured that no one will be left out when this national and historic play is published. The play is definitely a tragedy, so we don’t intend to stage it again in this country. As you all know, it was costly to put together. And the height of it all is that the leading male character actually died. Yes, the man died. So here we go, everybody please come on stage and take a bow. Light please. The amiable man who remained in bed peacefully, not moving a limb now played the role of the sick president of our turbulent republic. We can say he was a pun in the power play that ensued in this drama. We loved him, hated him, felt sorry for him, yelled at him yet he remained calm till the very end. He loved his wife and his wife loved power. Why we cannot say much about him is because he took his tragic role to a new height and actually died on stage. We will forever remember him, not just as Baba Go Slow, but a man so humble he surrendered himself to a cabal formed by his wife. Playing the fearless first lady is a woman we have come to hate, but we must always remember that she was only playing her role. She was so intriguing and enigmatic in the way she wrapped the entire cast round her finger. She never utters a word throughout the entire drama, yet her presence is felt like fire throughout the stage. She wasted no time in hauling the sick president from one end of the world to the other while keeping a firm grip on power all the while. Hers is the character that held this entire play together and prevented unwanted visitors from seeing her sick husband. She was so strong many of you nicknamed her Madam President. To be honest with you ladies and gentlemen, I think we were all taken by surprise at her dexterity in filling and managing the power vacuum left behind by her sick husband. We cannot fault her for not getting what she wanted at the end of it all; the world of politics is as slippery as a landfill of banana peels. We cannot really afford to hate her either because she lost it all, husband and power. So I crave the indulgence of the audience to kindly mourn with her as a widow. The next actor wearing the ragged judge’s wig is the very corruptible Attorney General of the republic in this tragic play. He was the most colourful liar of them all. This man single handedly shredded the Constitution and turned the Republic’s law on its head. The number one Man Friday to Madam President. Without him cast would never have lasted as long as it did parrying all those lawsuits ranged against them. The audience applauded wildly when he was cut to size by the Quiet One on the opposite side. Next to him is the man who played the Minister of Agriculture and the other man is the special Adviser on Economic Matters to the sick president or should we say to Madam President, because both were the most well known faces of the cabal– these two deserve a special mention because of the way they handled financial matters in this drama. Without them moving money around, the cabal would have been powerless. To my left is a man we cannot ignore, a major character in this play. He is our indefatigable security adviser to both the sick president and his ambitious wife. Once upon a time he could manipulate the entire army. He too was rendered powerless by the Quiet One. Come closer; yes madam, you in the colourful buba and wrapper. Ladies and gentlemen this woman here is the most creative actress with the way she captivated us with her wild antics. She is an actress who knows how to eat with both hands and maintain her balance. When her old boat was sinking she jumped out and swam ashore without getting wet. And who would forget her famous line “I did not cook for madam”. She also played the wild Christian, booking novena masses and calling for fasting and prayers for the sick president. She was the first to break ranks and desert her old cabalists, which we all know led to the end of the reign of Madam President. Please let’s clap for the lady that played the Minister of Information and Communication. Finally the actor we have come to know as the Quite One, the patient man that no one thought would survive. Our superstar, the man after God’s heart, the chosen son of the Republic, the one that felt the heat of the cabal and stood his ground like Olumo rock. The luckiest man in the world who rose from lecturer to deputy governor to governor to vice president to acting president and to president. I can go on and on and on – but please let’s all stand and give a resounding ovation to our new hero Mr. President of the Republic. You all know everything that has a beginning must have an end, and we have eventually come to the end of this play. Goodnight and Goodluck. EXCUSE ME! circa 2011 (First published in NEXT newspapers)
Posted on: Tue, 30 Sep 2014 15:50:45 +0000
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