Head is clogged with uncertainty. My heart is heavy tonight. Tomorrow I see the surgeon again. Hopefully to get answers of what this painful knot is in my tummy. Im trying to remain positive but the worst case scenarios keep running through my head. Lets face it if surgery is in the cards then I will need a lot of help especially with squirrel. There will be no lifting of her what so ever. How can you not pick up your own baby :(. Someone you wished for your whole life. Last time she was small and portable now not so much. I wont be able to afford her sitter while Chris is at work. Sick pay is a minimal amount. I was stuck in a cement box all night alone with my thoughts. Long night to say the least. So, these are my thoughts. You can have them they are weighing me down. A silver lining of the night was tomorrow I wont go to the doctors office alone with Jailyn. Gayle Kinnison volunteered meet me there and to stay with squirrel while I go in and learn my fate. She was there tonight with a much needed hug and offered to help. Grace Hudson has offered help us out if need be too. Thank you♡ Ive been through a lot in my short 36 years. #8 if surgery is a must. I know Ill make it through this too. Its just good to know I have friends and family willing to listen and be there for us. I know there are more of you out there too. Like Crystal and Mike, Hell,I could tag all night. My parents aunts and cousins. Im blessed to have you all. I just dont need to be so stubborn and ask for help if I need it. Think of us tomorrow around 10:15ish. Much love and light to you all.
Posted on: Mon, 10 Nov 2014 04:32:03 +0000