Healing doesnt mean the damage never existed. It means the damage no longer controls my live, as I reflect on my tears on this amazing glorious sunny Sunday morning, sun glistening thru the magical ice fog, smiling down on me. The beauty of my hand resting on my weary heart, wishing Mom and siblings were here holding my trembling hand at the TRC..[Truth Reconciliation Commission-Shaw Conference, March 27 to 30..2014]..for they too were survivors as well. I share my STORY as a SURVIVOR and A BEAUTIFUL WARRIOR of the IRS..Indian Residential School.. Its all about coming ALIVE. Its about WAKING up to GRACE. Its about unconditional friendliness, and infinite kindness to myself. Its about making it SAFE, finally safe for all the un-loved, un-met, unseen waves of the ocean of myself to crawl out of the depths, out of the darkness, out of the crevices were breath awaits my LOVE, of experience and come into the LIGHT blinking and full of WONDER. Its about giving birth to myself, so that all thoughts are finally allowed to flood in, all sensations, all feelings, all sounds, all these waves that was used to label, dark or evil, or negative or dangerous or sinful -fear, anger, boredom, doubt, confusion, frustration, helplessness, insecurity - are finally allowed to come to a peaceful rest, to BREATHE, to be FULLY myself in the space that I am in. They are not separate entities or enemies, they are intimate appearances of me, and so they cannot hurt me, even if they hurt, and this is what I forget sometimes in my rush to fix or at least normalize myself. Yes, all these swirling pulsating energies of that which I care LIFE are welcome in the unlimited room that I am, the vast LIVING Room in which all of creation SINGS and DANCES and paints itself into the ever-changing picture of this extROARdinary moment, so I can now ROAR with passion that my HEART FUL SOUL will once again CELEBRATE the Forgiveness that embraced me for many years at the IRS. Never lose HOPE, my HEART, miracles dwell in the invisible. The sorrow, grief, and rage I feel is a measure of my humanity and my evolutionary maturity. As my heart breaks open there will be room for MOTHER EARTH to HEAL. Dear, Phyllis BP May you AWAKEN to the mystery of being here and enter the quiet immensity of your own presence. May you have JOY&PEACE in the temple of your senses. May you receive great encouragement when new frontiers beckon. May you respond to the call of your gift and find the COURAGE to follow its path. May the flame of anger FREE you from falsity. May warmth of heart keep your presence aflame and may anxiety never linger about you. May your outer humble dignity mirror an inner dignity of soul. May you take time to CELEBRATE the quiet inner child that LOVES you. May you be consoled in the secret symmetry of your soul. May you experience each day as a SACRED gift woven around the heart of WONDER. May you LOVE immensely. ..and just remember Phyllis, you are an amazing, intelligent, soulful, loving, caring, brilliant, humble, kind, sharing, giving, grateful, compassionate, smart, a pain in the ass at times..tehe... If you need a shoulder to cry on Ill always be your friend. When you need some shelter from the rain, when you need a healer for your pain/ hurt. I will be there time and time again. When you need SOMEONE to LOVE you..HERE I AM…. I humbly ask for prayers and hugs as I share my IRS story, and for all those that have or yet to share their heartfelt stories of survival. I will hold YOU tight and never let you go, Mom, as reflect on how you were not able to share your horrific experience, as a IRS survivor, as tears are so overwhelming that I can only imagine. I MISS YOU SOOOOOO MUCH, Mom....HUGS and LOVE to my siblings as well, Who are TRUE BEAUTY to the reflecting of my soul. I Lovingly release the part, they are full and I am FREE. All is well in my HEART now…I allow myself to be filled with GRATITUDE, each time I say THANK-YOU for all your love and support, my furry friends/family…I LOVE YOU, especially..ARKGEA… :)
Posted on: Sun, 30 Mar 2014 18:02:41 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015