Hello Beautiful People! Its Tracey and heres a........Real Healing Update ;-) Kyle is working on an update for Save a Midwife: Help Tracey Johnstone Get Cancer Treatment and Rudy is doing all the final packing of food, herbs, and tidbits. I just got the Hotel details for the next week finalized. Kyle has to go up to Maine to settle a paperwork issue (Oh Maine, boo) and he will be gone from this Thursday until Tuesday evening. So Rudy is also getting ready to be procedure escort. Hes already been with me through one of THE worst ER visits Ive every had with this thing (yeah just make up the details please, or your eyes will burn lol!) and hes had to advocate for himself a lot with his healthcare. Thats a big part of what Rudy is doing, helping ME because this is so new, and honestly, rather terrifying for Kyle, so it gives Kyle the space to process what is happening and be at his best. So Rudy is being my Cancer doula for me, even when Kyles here, and thats what makes this a doable situation with a 44 year old midwife, her best friend and fiance, who happens to be a LOT younger than her, and her Brother by Gift, whos experienced so much of the same losses and has many of the same strengths from it as I do. This past weekend we spent a lot of time working through some really chunky stuff around Family and Solidarity, and how Ego Generated Expectations can really cloud our ability to see that God is providing EXACTLY what we need and what we have prayed for. I think most people have a picture in their head of what Having Cancer looks like. And it probably has a well developed scenario of a support system that is populated by family and a comfy, very familiar bed. Well, me and my family of origin, we love each other a lot, but all of us seem to be in some pretty intense places of inner work that makes MY expectations of how I think family *should* show up, or look like ridiculously unobtainable- But that support is already Manifest in Kyle and Rudy. I know they dont bail. I know that Kyle has gotten arrested for trying to stop Me from getting arrested. Ive been gassed, arrested, through Hurricane Sandy in NYC when it hit, and nearly died in a burning van. Yeah, A BURNING VAN, with these two last November lol! Some of you may remember the Fiery Van Adventure. They have held my sobbing body while I have grieved, my grandmother, my father going to prison, the loss of my house. They have loved me when I have been my worst, heartbroken, hungry and truly broken self. I dont feel ashamed with them. They love me unconditionally. They bring God to me when I get lost and forget to pray. Simply, I couldnt do this without them, and there is no shame in admitting that. Originally I started out this post wanting just to make a little status update, but I guess I needed to sing my Love for my two guys
Posted on: Mon, 11 Nov 2013 20:04:07 +0000
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