Hello Danny, I need to get me some truth (please do keep my name anonymous). I am in my late twenties.female.so far I had a few looong relationships. never really ended well. Got rejected a few times, got cheated on once. Generally I dont see it as such a bad thing - sometimes you fall and then get up. However, last few years have been hard. I got tough times at work, lost some friends and became lonely, without any direction and a bit desperate. Thats when I met my current boyfriend. First year was great - he was not the typical over the top intellectual type, he did not have a big ego and seemed up for anything I wanted to talk about, and anywhere I wanted to go. But the last year things got bad and then worse. The more I opened up about myself and the hard times I was going through, the more critical he got over me, my decisions, my outlook. Ive gone through depression, broke into tears at my doctors office and all he seemed to care about was my reduced libido. He kept telling how I had issues that affected him and I should seek help for them. i did. Help didnt help. I was constantly sorry for not being well, for how I affected him. Then I decided to get better no matter what it takes. my moods and day-to-day got better somehow. However, still he criticizes every suggestion I got, wants whatever we do together his way. I also live with him. wanted to move out, he suddenly is critical of all the options I am trying to find and tells me whether I realize that this affects him too. Tell me Danny, how did this all happen to me? I feel like it was my fault somehow. Before I start, I do sympathise with you and I do mean that, but nowhere near as much as youre trying to make me... Brutal honesty... Truthfully, and if youre being truthful to yourself, you are very very self obsessed. I get the impression that youve been going on and on about yourself chewing his ear off, Ive been cheated on, Im insecure, I suffer with depression, of course its affecting him, itd drive me mental. Like youve said he criticises all your suggestions, but your suggestions are... I live with him, wanted to move out, I bet hes sick to death of all the up and down mood swings... It cant be easy for him, but yet youre asking advice as if he is the one in the wrong... tell me Danny, how did this all happen to ME? I feel like it was my fault somehow, victim card. My advice is to actually get some professional help, you do have problems yes, but you also use it and play on it, and when you belittle him saying hes not the intellectual type... I think youve misjudged him a lot, I bet hes very intelligent, and thats why he gets so pissed off with you, i think he can see straight through you, when you are being genuine and need some affection, and when youre manipulating him to get attention. Go get some proper help it sounds like this guys patience is wearing thin, thats my honest opinion. Im not saying he shouldnt support you, he should, but Ive put myself in your relationship and given my perspective that way, not from an outsiders point of view.
Posted on: Thu, 24 Oct 2013 12:06:59 +0000
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