Hello FBF it is Midnight with a short report on Dude. I wanted to write yesterday, but I had to wait for my dear friend Jan to bring me a fresh battery. As most of you know, Dude (y’all probably know him as Jim, Jimmy, Jackass, Laird Ass, etc.) turned off my electricity so I am operating solely with batteries. I know that he thinks I am being punished, but it is a minor inconvenience. I promise y’all that my superior intelligence is more punitive to him than his ability to interrupt my electricity is to me. Now let’s get to Dude’s last episode of stupidity. God know that I love Dude and his bumbling ways. Tuesday afternoon Dude came home from work with horseback riding on his mind. At his age that is the only kind of riding he is able to perform. He changed cloths and came out to the barn for pistol. Now I don’t proclaim to be a meteorologist but you don’t have to be a scientist to recognize that rain is a strong possibility when you are surrounded by dark clouds. I casually mention to Dude that it was clouding up. He responded yep the sun has gone behind the clouds. I thought “what sun we haven’t seen it in two weeks” but I did not say it. After Pistol was saddled, Dude worked with him for about ten minutes on standing still while the rider mounts. When Dude was confident that Pistol understood his duties, he grabbed a couple of bottles of water and rode off. I laughed and said you probably have more water that you need. Dude said what you mean and I said you know God provides for our needs. That lost look in his eyes told me that Dude could not read clouds or understand hints from a superior being such as me. Dude and Pistol had been gone about thirty minutes when the Lord opened the skies and blessed us with a down pour. The rain was nice because it cool everything down. Of course, I was inside the barn. About thirty minutes later, I saw pistol and Dude approaching. That is not exactly true, I heard a sloshing sound and looked up to see them plodding toward the barn. I don’t really know how wet one can get, but those two jackasses were soaked. In my opinion they were beyond maximum saturation. Water was dripping off both of them and they sloshed when pistol moved. The lighting provided a beautiful back drop for them. I could not resist the urge to laugh and say “The Lord has proved you with a bountiful harvest. I don’t suppose you had to use the two bottles of water you took. “ Dude replied “you trying to be fun or you?” By this time I had lost control and was wallowing in laughter on the floor of my stall. Dude got off pistol and water splashed out of his boots. I simply said “bountiful harvest indeed.” Dude was kind of pitiful as he walked bowlegged with his wet jeans clinging to his legs and butt. Water sprayed with every step he took. The saddle was so water logged that Dude could barely tote it. I said Dude you know water makes a good conduit for electricity so you might want to get out of the lightning. He angrily splashed off to the house with his lips poked so far out that I was afraid he was going to step on them. Pistol said, I thought that nut was going to get us killed by lightning. Truth is I don’t think Pistol cared if Dude got struck, but as wet as they were he was afraid if Dude got hit by lightning they would both be killed. I said Pistol some people need to wear a sign around their necks that reads “Beware I am dumb and I may be hazardous to your health.” Unfortunately, our Dude is one of them people. Love y’all Midnight. P.S. Please pray for me, I have my hands full with that Dude.
Posted on: Thu, 18 Jul 2013 17:39:03 +0000
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