Hello Hughes Troop Friends, Family, and much appreciated Supporters. As many of you may remember I had an MRI Scan done last week to ensure that my Brain Cancer has remained stable and is still under control. Yesterday afternoon I met with my Oncologist to receive the results of my MRI. I have been trying to do my best to stay healthy and I felt comfortable after passing around 4-5 consecutive MRIs in a row during the last 2 or so years. Well I am afraid the results were not quite what we probably had all hoped for. The MRI seems to clearly show that there are now TWO small spots that appear to be the beginnings of new cancer growth. As soon as my Doc disclosed this to myself and my Mom… I could feel the temperature raise inside my body as a momentary flash of a thousand different questions, thoughts, fears, and anxiety began to creep back into my mind once again. Damn it! This isnt the best timing and I was finally beginning to get back on my feet :( I did not dare turn and look at my poor Mother, since I guiltily knew all the pain, tearful moments, and incredible efforts my parents have also been living with, as their son had his whole life turned upside down between my cancer fight, divorce, and inability to work full time, and the long tough fight I have endured. The good news (I guess) is that the two spots are still very small and there is a remote possibility that it may turn out to be nothing overly serious if it stops growing. Honestly though, I believe it will continue to grow knowing that it is the most aggressive and deadliest form of brain cancer you can have… its sole purpose is to grow and kill off any and all the healthy brain cells that I have left and will continue to do so until somehow stopped. So the plan of action at this time is to wait until February 16th 2015 and have another MRI Scan done at that time, so we can make sure it is indeed growing and check how fast it may be growing. If it turns out that it increased in size even more at that time, then I will have some very tough decisions to make. Needless to say, I am feeling a bit stunned at the moment. I can feel some of the anxiety and weight of not only having to wait another 3 months to ensure it is without a doubt the return of my cancer, but also how big can it get in 3 months… fear about if it is cancer, how do I tell my boys… will I experience the severe headache pains again… what burden will I impose on my loved ones when I need help… what choices or path should I choose for treatments when it is time decide… how much worse can things possibly get for such a simple guy just trying to live my life and love my children… how am I gonna pay for all the medical expenses, treatments, medications, and future ER visits… and on and on. It pains me to know that this process hurts those who support and love me. I just so desperately wish I could just live a normal and happy family life like many of my friends instead of being forever handicapped by seriousness of my disease and all the anxiety that seems to come with it. There is some hope that perhaps it is a fluke or that it wont grow any larger… but my gut instinct and my medical history says that is a long shot. I am not ready to leave my boys quite yet… or for that matter any of my family, friends, supporters, or other cancer fighters like me who may look to me for inspiration. I was able to survive this long (which is twice the average length of survival for the average GBM patient) so who says I cant fight again if I have it in me and beat the odds again. Until then, kind words, support, prayers, help, love, etc… are appreciated. Not only for my health, but more importantly for my boys. They do not deserve to have to deal with this craziness at such a young age… so please keep them in your prayers as well. Thank you all for your continued faith and support… I greatly appreciate everything that you have said, done, and I hope will help me rally and conquer this disease once again!! Hughes Troops ROCK!!
Posted on: Wed, 19 Nov 2014 00:15:37 +0000
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