Hello Zane, First I would like to say that I am a huge fan of your books. Absolutely love Addicted and am super excited about the movie to come. I also relate alot to your other book Nervous. But anyway the reason I am writing is because I want to get your opinion on this situation. So my bestfriend and I have been friends since middle school. Never had problems never fallen out even tho we have lived together and everything the only thing we cannot agree fully on is relationships which is understandable. However, I feel she is in denial about her situation. She has been with her boyfriend since we were in high school (friends since middle school) but there relationship has not been the best. From the start of it all he has cheated on her, strung her along, played mind games with her, and basically gave her a hard time (I swear in high school they broke up like every other week). Now I know every relationship has its ups and downs but every time they had their fall out for whatever reason she would just take him back and I would think to myself why. My friend is so much better than that so of course wen she would come to me to talk about it I would give her my opinion and try my best to understand why she continued to put up with it. We graduate high school and they were good for a few months then he cheated again this time giving her an STD. Although she stayed mad a little bit longer than she usually has she took him back yet again. Then they were good for a while then he wanted to start with his games again. He ignored her for about 2 months without reason then as soon as he saw that she was starting not to care he pops back in with exactly what to say to get her back. They get back together and things go good for a while he got his self together he got his life in order and joined military. When he found out his first duty station was over seas. They tried to do a rush proposal/marriage but her parents told him to wait on that so he went on. From what I saw they were making their long distance relationship work after all he had seemed to change a little. Well she goes over to visit him only to find out the day she gets there that he cheated on her again. She stays the rest of her trip so the money doesnt go to waste but the entire time she was there she acted as if nothing was wrong. Before she left she says she tried to break up with him but she said she knows he wont let it end like that so basically she is just letting the situation be as it is. Now I know when it comes to love people are going to do what they want to do and I also know that people are going to do what you allow them to do. So if she constantly has allowed him to get away with this he may ultimately do it again. To me this is a toxic relationship. I have no doubt that they love and care abt each other but that doesnt mean they are meant to be together but it seems as tho she doesnt understand that and that she is hell bent on him being the one for her. What do you think. I mean its obvious that there is nothing I can tell her but I only want the best for her so am I wrong for feeling this way about their relationship? MY RESPONSE: No, you are not wrong and it is interesting because I have either written or published a book by someone else that clears up most of the issues people email me about. She believes that the more times she makes an effort, it will improve. You need to get her my book, Total Eclipse of the Heart, even if you rent it from the library so she can read it, because she is caught up in a cycle like the two main characters in my book. It does not mean that her man is a bad person; it means that he is not prepared to truly receive her love. If he could not remain faithful while they were living in the same place, it is completely unrealistic to think that he will maintain any kind of control overseas. At the end of the day, she has to come to her own conclusions about him and that may mean staying on the amusement park ride for several more years. Just be supportive of her and be there to pick up the pieces when she falls about. You are a good friend and you desire more for her than she desires for herself and that happens. I have several friends and relatives that I desire more for as well but they have the right to choose who they love. Good luck. amazon/Zanes-Total-Eclipse-Heart-Zane-ebook/dp/B002YPOS2U/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1404571764&sr=1-1&keywords=total+eclipse+of+the+heart+zane
Posted on: Sat, 05 Jul 2014 14:50:20 +0000
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