Hello again FB friends. So my question of the day is now what? I mean really, im laying here in bed yet i feel like running down the street. I feel the need to escape my body. I am lost. I truly dont know which path to take. There are so many. I have the kids and they come first. But what i dont have is my voice of reason. Ellen. Evertime i was about to make a dumb choice she would stop me. Or if i was about to do something stupid she would call me out. But as i sit here looking at the ring on my finger, i.......i just dont know. Till death do us part. I will keep my ring forever. But it truly is just a ring now. 14 yrs we were married. And now i have to start over. And again im lost. I know for sure that im taking a year off of life to make sure the kids and myself are good. But then what? I know the only person that can answer that question is me. But how do you prepare your self for this? You cant. So many people tell me im the strongest person they know. Maybe i am, idk. I do know that this sux. It hurts. Nothing will be the same. Last night jena had a break down. She said its not fair i want mommy back. OMG my soul was hurting. I did the best i could and we talked about it for a bit. I got her to calm down some and she eventually fell asleep. But for the next hour or so i was just crushed. That im sure is the first of many. But as i still stand her the blows are harder and harder to take. Ill fend them off as best i can. But how much adversity can one man handle before he breaks. I guess we will find out. But i can asure you one thing. Im not going down without a fight. Thanks again for the rant. B
Posted on: Tue, 14 Oct 2014 00:31:32 +0000
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