Hello there, you juicy mortals you! Kalanga ine! Humans are so good at lying to themselves. Seriously, we have become experts at doing it too (ukatswiri!). Minds on, brace yourselves and lets be honest: Sometimes, I lie to myself. I wear a lot of masks in certain situations so I can survive them--get through them without conflict. I hide parts of myself because Im scared that if people see who I really am, they might not like it. Alas, I hate disappointing people, but Ive realized that in wearing all these masks and trying to be who people need me to be rather than being the real me, I lose important parts of myself and end up just going through the motions of life while feeling empty. In fact, I know that most people live their lives without being completely honest with themselves because of insecurities. It starts from a young age, you know?--wanting to fit in, being teased about our looks and acts. It makes sense that we would want to, therefore, lie to ourselves and others about who we are or what we want. So I know I am not alone here. And that is why I want you to join me in taking a chance to improve our lives by adopting a lifestyle where we have to remind ourselves to be honest with ourselves. It will be hard at first but that depends on where you stand with honesty. How important is it to you? How does lying making you feel about yourself? Et cetera. Ok, so here are the skeletons in my closet when it comes to hiding behind masks: I would hide parts of me I didnt like just to keep my friends. I would repress my feelings or not tell my friends about any undesirable feelings I felt because I didnt want them to freak out or avoid me. Like I said before, I have trouble saying NO to people. So I give them my time and resent myself in the end because I cant get everything done for them at their pace because of my own priorities. And finally, I would withhold information to protect my loved ones from hurt. This is known as a protective lie and its easy to lie to yourself that your silence is safer than the truth. Well, thats called playing God. Simply put: its bullsh*t. I want you to take a moment and think about what YOU lie to yourself about. Have you become an expert at wearing masks that you didnt even notice you feel empty because you lost parts of yourself? Now imagine what it would feel like to truly be free to be who you are. *buffering* Does the thought of this make you happy or sad? Depending on how you answered this, you will get insight to whether or not you have been lying to yourself a lot in order to get by--especially if your answer is--it makes me feel sad. In Shakespeares Hamlet, a character named Polonius advises his son, Laertes: This above all: to thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man. I dont know about you but honesty means a lot to me and that is why today when I make decisions or blurt out things that require a lot of thought, I literally do a mental check and ask myself if Im lying to myself. My close friends will tell you that I normally ask for their opinion on things because--quoting myself-- Im afraid that I might be lying to myself. Now theres some insight to why I value true friends. They help me see and hear myself. Furthermore, the chances of me telling protective lies where I withhold information become slim because I realize that lies taint relationships. Even if you get away with them, they change you as a person. You alter yourself in destructive ways, which is what leads to losing yourself, to going through the motions while feeling empty inside. Therefore, to thine ownself be true; you will feel so much lighter when you lift the oppressive burden of your lies. First, accept that you have been lying to yourself or hiding behind masks. I know, it can be upsetting :( ...but look, know that you have simply done what you needed to do in order to survive. But you can turn it around today and bring back those parts of you that now need to be revealed to both you and your loved ones. Just remember: True friends take the good with the bad, the great with the not-so-great. Those who truly love you will love you for who you are. So dont forget to do that mental check. Get used to literally asking yourself if you are lying to yourself. And take your time when you ask yourself this because your mind can fight you on it. Remember that YOU are the master of that rebellious mind of yours. Finally, my favorite suggestion--dont forget to ask questions (e.g. what does it really mean to be truly honest with myself? In what ways have I not been honest with myself?). The first step is acceptance. Write this down on paper. Think about each question thoroughly. Meditate on who you want to be. Take a risk to be honest with yourself. And if honesty does mean a lot to you, remember: This above all: to thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man. Happy Sunday, mortals ;) Honestly Yours, -A
Posted on: Sun, 09 Nov 2014 13:19:06 +0000
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