Help! Something is wrong with my child! Dealing with a child who seems to have abnormal behavioral responses can be one of the most difficult challenges a parent will ever encounter. Not only is it emotionally draining, it can be physically exhausting as you often feel like all you are doing is trying to diffuse a temper tantrum at any given moment throughout the day. These tantrums seem to manifest out of nowhere. Your other children never responded that way, why this one? Responsibility questions, riddled with guilt, flood your mind. What did I do wrong? What havent I done for this child what I seemed to be able to give to my other children? Some of these questions are good, while others are nothing more than grasping at the wind. You cant see the answer, and if you think you landed on it, it quickly disappears and you are left right back at the beginning of your confusion on the subject. There is a responsibility issue for parents that should not be ignored. We are responsible before God to raise our children according to His word. However, we are never promised trouble-free parenting, even though we try to live our lives accordingly to Gods instructions. God has much to say on the subject of parenting and we would be wise to explore the doctrines of grace in our parenting. But what about parents who have explored this, confessed known sin and failures in their parenting, yet still find themselves almost hopeless? Gods word still speaks and proves faithful into lifes most exhausting circumstances. First, a Christian parent must know certain truths about their situation. 1. God is good and sovereign over every situation and because He is good, He has promised good to those who would follow Him. God is always up to something good, even in the face of what seems painfully unending. 2. Our children do not belong to us. Ultimately they belong to God, and so we need to surrender all rights over our children to God. Through prayer, the study of scripture, and the encouragement of the body of Christ, we can come to fully believe this fact and relinquish all rights we may claim to have on our children. 3. Our children are embodied souls. Recognizing this helps the parent understand that all behavior, though it may appear morally wrong, may have a physiological element to it. The parent must be very careful in drawing this conclusion with the aid of medical expertise, but in cases of extreme behavior it cannot be overlooked. Two questions that may be helpful taken from an article by Ed Welch are, A. Who are we as human beings? And B. Of what do we consist? The answers are: We and our children are, both body and spirit and so we consist of two substances. Our spirit (the moral substance) acts out of emotion that originates in the sinful heart of man. Our body (the nonmoral substance) is our physical equipment to which our heart reacts. (Ed Welch). Because scripture recognizes who we are fully as human beings, Gods words can be trusted in our approach to dealing with extreme parenting issues and point us in the right direction as we chart a course of action. This often takes significant time, but if our efforts are God-focused, they cannot be in vain and results will follow. God will grow more Christ-like and grace-filled character in us as parents. He will generously grant us wisdom in the face of chaotic behavior, and as we respond the way God would have us respond, it is likely that we will see a difference in our childs responses. I understand first-hand some of these difficult circumstances having raised a child with severe sensory processing issues that often led to extreme behavior. Through Gods grace I found that even though this child was my most difficult child, this child was also the one I found great joy in. There is hope and God is faithful!
Posted on: Mon, 11 Nov 2013 17:06:06 +0000
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