Here is some transparent disclosure without malice. This will be a bit long (not for those who care and need it) but I wanted it on record. Why? Its therapeutic for me. It may also help someone else. Perhaps Im looking for some sympathy. Probably :). Here goes nothing: I think some people have the idea we have no problems and the Gibneys live in a as I was told by someone a bubble. Thats ok, we dont usually spew our issues on others. Maybe thats why they think that. But for some reason this morning Ill share. This is the surface of our issues but perhaps youll see youre not alone. Your issues are probably much worse than mine. But before I start hear this,” I love you” from Jesus and me. We have traveled 10 years to our small sweet church in NJ. Its almost 90 minutes away. It was our choice to live here in PA. But I see now had not God ordained it, we could not have stayed. When God showed us the grace message people left our church. Some of it was also my faulty leadership and the harvest of legalism too. We could have left the church during our grace transition but we could not abandon that small flock when we had other opportunities. So we continue to travel. It hurts me that people can come and go not realizing the price we paid to stay. It took an emotional, financial and spiritual toll on us. But Im so glad for the message of Grace. But now we have a small inkling of what it means to suffer for the gospel. We were alone. I tried to reach out to other pastors groups and denominations for fellowship but found legalism has many more faces than I realized. It was more draining than encouraging. Also add to this My mother who had dementia lived with us for three years. My extended family was not extremely supportive and at times hostile about the whole thing. Accusing us of all kinds of malficesance and attack your integrity. So we just don’t hang around people like that. That was a lonely place. Having mom here took a toll on my family I did not realize. It set us on pause for years after. I guess we have had (have) PTSD. Mom now is in a nursing home 2 hours and 30 minutes away. So I dont even get to see her. Also, My wife was 1800 miles away from her family who she loves that at first was pretty angry and petty at the move we made away from dress codes etc...toward this added to the loneliness. It was funny for years after we moved here from down south we had not heard from anyone. Then out of the woodwork came hateful emails, and accusations from people who never called or darkened our door…ever….yes, it got calmer. But then Kim lost her mother a year ago. Her dad is not in good health and we had scare this week. Add to this, People always second guessing your decisions no matter how small. Disappointed with people whom youve loved that jump ship the first time there is something they dont like or to “pursue their dreams that dont include you or the church. Being told that if God was really with us our church would be bigger well...you get it. Then personally being confronted with my mortality as I approach fifty wondering if you have wasted your time and life on a side street is, well, scary. Then concerned for your health....I know “speak in faith” you say...we do...but you have to have something to speak in faith over...right ;)? So this morning if nothing else you know some of the story. I’m not trying to shame anyone. But perhaps asking for a little compassion? The reasons for my FB posts that try to encourage others in grace. That in our weakness he is strong. If you dont have it all together…I dont either and Im with you. I, Mike, am your brother and your partner in suffering and in God’s Kingdom and in the patient endurance to which Jesus calls us. I was exiled to PA and NJ for preaching the word of God and for my testimony about Jesus. ;) God bless and pray for us!
Posted on: Fri, 23 Jan 2015 12:01:34 +0000
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