Heres a copy/paste of my response to the NYC street harassment video. I subscribe to text notifications from The Takeaway on OPB, and they wanted to hear about peoples experiences: Street harassment and catcalling are pretty much a part of my daily existence as a woman. I absolutely detest being out in public because of it I have been harassed after accidentally making eye contact, and I have been harassed when every single ounce of my body language is screaming leave me alone - headphones in, on my phone, texting, sitting reading a book, drawing, walking with my eyes straight ahead or down. It doesnt matter. I have been harassed not responding to the calls and I have continued to be harassed after yelling at them to F*** off. I have been called vile names for ignoring advances. I have been followed after ignoring advances. I have even been grabbed. All because I, a woman, had the audacity to ignore a man who decided to give me his attention. I have been hit on relentlessly, even after claiming the protection of another man (my husband). I have sat outside my husbands workplace waiting for him to get off work, only to have a man stand less than a foot away from me and relentlessly try to get me to engage in conversation. I ignored him, continued staring at my phone, did not respond, and he would not go away. He only finally left when I broke down and said I do not want to talk to you, and the (male) friend he was with persuaded him to give up. Not even a week ago, also outside my husbands work, I had a man sneak up behind me until he was close enough he cold have grabbed me. If I hadnt sensed his presence and turned around, I dont even know what would have happened. As I sped away from him, he was smiling at me. At risk of perpetuating the what was she wearing trope, or perhaps dispelling it, I do not dress in a way that could even remotely be argued as revealing or provocative. I live in jeans and hoodies. I dont ask for it - I avoid eye contact with people. I give no indication that I am even remotely interested in interaction. It changes nothing. The only time I am protected is when I am with another man. And then - videos like this come out. PROOF of the sort of thing I deal with on a regular basis. But even seeing videos like this, I still see men (and some women as well) invalidating both the woman in the videos experience and mine as well. I am told not all men are creepy, sometimes I just like to say hello to a beautiful woman and its nothing more than that, take the compliment, and Id kill for that kind of recognition. Meanwhile, countless women, myself included, are screaming that this is not a compliment, and that its absolutely terrifying. I would love to be able to go out in public without being afraid for my safety. To walk down the street and be left alone. To be allowed my own agency and have my choices of who I wish to interact with respected. Id like to be able to share my experiences without being told Im overreacting or playing the victim or have my experience diminished by being told how its unfair to men. I have never entered this conversation simply complaining. The biggest issue Ive seen raised by the Not All Men crowd is what can we do about it? Never mind that it shouldnt be up to women to come up with a solution, but Ive always tried to be proactive and helpful. My suggestion is this - enter social interactions with heightened empathy and pay attention to verbal and nonverbal cues. If a woman is staring straight ahead or down at the ground, chances are she doesnt want to interact. If you detect tension in her voice when she returns your greeting, she probably feels pressured to respond and doesnt want to interact. If she responds enthusiastically with a smile, go for it!
Posted on: Wed, 29 Oct 2014 19:26:49 +0000
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