Heres some southernisms for yall. Southerners know the movies that speak to their hearts: Fried Green Tomatoes Driving Miss Daisy Steel Magnolias Gone With The Wind Southerners know their religions: Bapdiss Methdiss Football Southerners know their cities dripping with Southern charm: Chawlstn Svanah Foat Wuth Nawlins Addlanna Southerners know their elegant gentlemen: Men in uniform Men in tuxedos Rhett Butler Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption fit, and that you dont HAVE them, you PITCH them. Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens, peas, beans, etc., make up a mess. Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of yonder. Only a Southerner knows exactly how long directly is, as in: Going to town, be back directly. Even Southern babies know that Gimme some sugar is not a request for the white, granular, sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in the middle of the table. All Southerners know exactly when by and by is. They might not use the term, but they know the concept well. Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor whos got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad. If the neighbors trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin! Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference between right near and a right far piece. They also know thatjust down the road can be 1 mile or 20. Only a Southerner both knows and understands the difference between a redneck, a good ol boy, and po white trash. No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn. A Southerner knows that fixin can be used as a noun, a verb, or an adverb. Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines, ... and when were in line,... we talk to everybody! Put 100 Southerners in a room and half of them will discover theyre related, even if only by marriage. In the South, “yall” is singular, “all yall” is plural. Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them. Every Southerner knows that tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee are perfectly wonderful; that red eye gravy is also a breakfast food; that scrambled eggs just ain’t right without Crystal hot sauce, and that fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food. When you hear someone say, Well, I caught myself lookin, you know you are in the presence of a genuine Southerner! Only true Southerners say sweet tea and sweet milk. Sweet tea indicates the need for sugar and lots of it -- we do not like our tea unsweetened. Sweet milk means you dont want buttermilk. And a true Southerner knows you dont scream obscenities at little old ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say,Bless her sweet little heart... and go your own way. To those of you who are still a little embarrassed by your Southernness: Take two tent revivals and a dose of sausage gravy and call me in the morning. Bless your little heart! And to those of you who are still having a hard time understanding all this Southern stuff....bless your hearts, I hear they’re fixin to have classes on Southernness as a second language! Southern girls know men may come and go, but friends are fah-evah ! There aint no magazine named Northern Living for good reason. There aint nobody interested in livin up north, nobody would buy the magazine! Now Shugah, send this to someone who was raised in the South or wish they had a’been! If youre a Northern transplant, bless your little heart, fake it. We know you got here as fast as you could.
Posted on: Wed, 06 Nov 2013 16:30:59 +0000
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