Heres the deal: For a few years now, I have questioned my sanity. I have felt inordinately, and nebulously, afraid. I have been overwhelmed with anxiety I couldnt explain. I have had trouble concentrating, focusing and completing what I began. I have wondered at times, whose body am I in, and whose face is looking back at me from the mirror. I have had an avalanche of a tsunami of a roller-coaster of emotionality. I have had *weird-and-freaky* things happen to my earthsuit (inside and out). I have felt waves of soul-nauseating despair, for seemingly NO reason (& at other times for damn painful reasons). I have felt everything, as in EVERY. FREAKING. THING. intensely. And then some. And yet, during this same tumultuous time, I have also, accomplished some astonishing feats, gone to extraordinary lengths, geographically -- as well as extraordinary depths, internally; inner and outer space has been *explored*. I have shed much, that was not me ... I have discovered much, that is me ... and I have hung, suspended in foundationless limbo, in-between. I have reveled in both paralyzing fear, and super-human courage, sometimes simultaneously. And I have wondered, all along the way: WTF is wrong with me?!? Heres the deal: Im not crazy. Everything Ive felt, Everything Ive experienced, Everything thats challenged me ... Has either been caused by, or exacerbated by, peri-menopause. Oversimplification...? If youre a woman under 40, lets schmooze about it when you reach your mid-50s. And if youre a man, come back as a woman next time, and well kvetch. As for me ... Im grateful to find out Im not: ~Going insane ~Dying ~Wishing I was dying, rather than live this way Now, please pass me that estrogen ointment, and tell me Im beautiful when Im hot (flashing).
Posted on: Thu, 11 Dec 2014 19:41:27 +0000
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