Heres the introduction to my second comedy book mostly taken from my YT experiences, I hope you like it, thanks Jimmy Introduction I don’t recall if it was Charlie Chaplin, Jerry Lewis, Martin Lawrence, Cher or my good friend Whipsy who once said that laughter is the best medicine to cure whatever ails you. So here’s a dose of that. If you don’t laugh your ass off, I will eat my hat in a Macy’s store window. Well for your information this is a continuation of my previous book ‘How My Prank Stories In ‘You Tube’ Made Me An Overnight Sensation.’ This time I’ve expanded and lucky for me no one has made any derogatory remarks to any of my stories. Oh, that happens every day, on You Tube and Facebook. Just look at the comments people leave behind to videos, photos, movies, or songs. So I guess Ricky Nelson, that great philosopher of the 20th century, who said “you can’t please everyone so you got to please yourself” was right on the money. Friends of mine say I should do standup comedy. Are they crazy? I would die in a heartbeat, and besides my insurance policy keeps lapsing every other month. My heirs would get diddly squat, other than that Social Security allotment of 250 dollars they give you, and that’s not nearly enough for a simple cremation. And honestly speaking, who do you know in their right mind wants to hear a Puerto Rican/American lecture them about the facts of life? Yes this is a compilation of my facts of life. I tell stories of my youth, my school days, and my time spent on the streets of NYC diddy bopping, playing skellies, or hop scotch with the girls. Also I reveal tidbits of my first love affairs, and even later of my work places. What work places? Glad you asked! When I worked at a brokerage firm down in Wall Street, buying and selling all types of shit, stocks, bonds, commodities, options, annuities, treasuries, derivatives, money markets, cd’s, futures, currencies, and all the toxic junk they had to offer. And also my brief tenure at the ING Service Center in Minot ND making beneficiary changes, addresses changes, adding child riders, and collateral assignments. But that’s not all, during my lunch breaks you would find me chasing beaver, the two legged kind, don’t ask, and rabbits and deer for dinner. Now in my current tour of duty as we speak I work at a local Home Depot Store, here in NYC, where they got me selling nipples and ball cocks in the plumbing aisles. My mother would kill me if she knew. But then that’s where I have my opportunity to be on stage, and hone my skills as a story teller. Sometimes the customers would walk away scratching their heads saying, “that freaking boy is crazy, who the heck let him out of the psychiatric ward?” Hey, don’t laugh! Many of them come back looking for me to tell them some more revelations. So who’s the crazy one? And that’s when I knew I should start charging a fee for my services. I would tell them of my arm transplant therefore the reason I was wearing long sleeve shirts in the dead of summer because I didn’t want anybody to notice I had received a woman’s arm. Why it was five inches shorter, smoother, hairless, and prettier than the other. Or the time a NYC Fire Department ambulance driver nearly pushed me off the road because he had a whole bunch of toes to deliver. Oh, you don’t want to know! Or that dispute I had with a lady bus driver because she called me a moron. oooooooh, I wanted to beat her with my shoe! Well it’s all here and much more. So sit back, get comfortable, get you a beer, or whatever that floats your boat and find out what more I have to say. You might choke on that beef jerky we sell at the store. You might even pee on yourself laughing so hard. But then that’s the risk you’ll have to take. Like I always say, “no tickie, no shirtie.” Well not me per say, my China Man at the laundry place where I hang trying to pick up babes. Ok ok where I hang. Take care and god bless and say a little prayer for me. I can surely use all the help I can get. Oh, it’s time for my encore; don’t wait up the queen of talk is here. No not Cher, Oprah. Oprah who, Oprah Winfrey Oprah that Oprah!!! Ciao Jimmy, aka Mr. Stand Up, I wish!!!
Posted on: Sun, 08 Jun 2014 13:22:46 +0000
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