Hey Zane, I need some advice. I was engaged to my sons father. We had just gotten back together after being broken up for 2 years. A few months after the proposal I found out I had been accepted in to school so we set the wedding 2 weeks after my expected graduation. That spring I started Med surge and OMG that class will have you pulling your hair out. Needless to say I changed. I take full responsibility for that. I know I didnt have time for my man the way I had before but at the time I couldnt see it. I was dry and snapping and when I wasnt studying I was asleep. He called off the wedding that March but we didnt break up. I was angry but thought we could still fix it. When it got closer to the end of school I asked him out and stayed with him so that we could go to church together but it was obvious by then things had changed. While we were at dinner an acquaintance asked him was I his girlfriend and his response was uhh...That next week he broke up with me in a text message. After SIX YEARS, a son, and an engagement that was the respect that man showed me...a text message. Even then though I told him I understand and I still loved him. The following week he posted pictures of him an his new girlfriend on Instagram. I blew up!!!!! I cussed him out! I felt disrespected and humiliated. Then I found out the next month she was pregnant! He claimed they MET two days after we broke up and yet the next month shes pregnant? I was mad when I found out about her but I was hurt when I found out about the baby. I cried every time I thought about it because that was something I wanted with him. Get finish with nursing school, get married, buy a house, and have another baby. She eventually broke up with him and here he comes crawling to me, telling me how sorry he is and that he still wants to get married and have a baby. I see how hard he is trying. He will stay at my house with our son until I get off work and when I walk through the door he has my plate fixed, night clothes out and bath water ran. I admit I still love him but I dont trust him. I dont know if Im being paranoid but I feel like he is manipulating me. Im afraid if I let him back in my life he will turn back into the low down heartless person he showed me he can be. What do I do? Should I let the past be the past and accept him (and his child) back in to my life or do I walk away for good this time? Signed Lost and confused MY RESPONSE: It is always hard to trust again after a bad relationship but it is even more of a struggle to try to trust someone again after they are the ones who broke your heart. The fact of the matter is that he clearly thought the grass was greener on the other side and found it was not. But the true kick in the gut is that he did not even break up with her, like he did with you; she dumped him and he rebounded back to you. This is a tough one but you know whether or not he might do it again. A text message after six years and a child is ridiculous. He may very well be a better man now who can appreciate you or he may be using you as a placeholder for the person he desires. Good luck with this one. Some people give it another chance and others get a few good flashbacks and decide it is not worth revisiting the pain. You have to make that decision.
Posted on: Sun, 31 Aug 2014 18:33:36 +0000