Hey everyone... My name is Ben VanDuesen Im 19 Im 510 and 169lbs. - TopicsExpress



          

Hey everyone... My name is Ben VanDuesen Im 19 Im 510 and 169lbs. As you can tell Im openly Gay. Some of you think I have it easy . but I dont. I was born 10-12-1995. I was a single child . my mom raised me by herself becausey dad was to immature to settle down to take care of his own son. My would marry a guy when I was 2 .. I dont know much about him... Besides that he abused me.. I can only recall bits from then.. I remember just like any other kid born in the 90s play my super Nintendo. I can re call back to my 3 birthday .... The day I knew something was wrong... My mom had been with this guy for a while .. My mom was 19 at the time... The night of my birthday. I recall hearing my mom cry and scream in pain... Me being a kid I had to find out why.. I ran to the kitchen and saw my step dad slaming my moms face into the fridge door.. I was horrified... Me only thinking to help I found a knife on the table and stabbed my step dad dead I stabbed him 8 times in the back and two on each leg... I didnt know what did was wrong... But I saved my mom... Now by now u may be wondering why I went through that begging story of my life.. Well youll find out soon... Lets jump to 4th grade.. It was my first day back to school... Its was late April.. I had just recently got out of the hospital.. Now u may be wondering y I was in the hospital but Im gonna tell you y. Back in third grand I got picked on badly.. Kids would call me names push me shove me hit me and kick me and trip me.. But during the last days of school we had extra recess. When I was out on the black top I was by myself I didnt socialize because of the bullying. This kid had been picking on me came up to me and start to mess with me... I did what they always told us to do and that is walk away. As I did he came up being me and started to shove me . I turned back to face him when he pulled me to his fist and then slammed me on the ground... I remember feeling blood all over my hands from the back of my head. I passed out and woke up two days later. I was CHILDRENS MERCY in Kansas City.... I had a concussion. From the force of the concussion ... I had uncontrollable seizures ... 45 of them in one day. This was all due to bullying or kids just joking around now lets jump to age 14... When I was growing up I lived in a town called ST. MARYS , KS. My mom always told me if I was gay shed love me no matter what ... Well while I was n Jr. High I kept a journel to keep my thoughts in.... This the same year I finally came to understand and except that I was gay. I ended up catich the flue and was home for weeks on end. Came to school and found out I had my locker broken into. My journel was gone... I was scared. I had written in my journel that I was gay ... Found out everyone was calling me a fag I was tripped pantsed kicked in the balls and .... I went home and my mom got a call from the school saying what was going on.... They told her I was gay...the first thing she did when she saw me was push me out and told me to go away and she didnt want to see me because she didnt want a faggot for a son... And it only got worse in school and at home... I was hit stabbed punched beaten. I was hit by cars .. Drowned by kids from my school ...and got death threats from everyone I use to call my friends. Its was bad to the point of suicide.. I cut. I downed pills . jumped off the bridge and I tried to hang myself ... Ive always been told it gets better it doesnt . u get banned prom from banned from working. ... All in all before you judge people know their story. I had to deal with raped and abuse and neglact from my mom being disowned by mom and family and school and friends. .. Im reach out because I never had the support I want other kids to know I knoe how it feels ... All in all dont bulky ..be a friend.. It can save a life
Posted on: Mon, 18 Aug 2014 11:27:49 +0000

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