Hey everyone on my friendslist, I have a small thing to ask and a long explanation for those who wonder, so at least read the first part please. If you post things that are politically charged, racist, extremist, thought provoking or otherwise seem to have an opinion that may be considered objectionable or worthy of discussion (basically all of you) and you do not want me to be involved in those discussions in a civil, mature back and forth, just tell me! I want to annoy you all about as much as you all want to be annoyed by me. (which I am betting is not very much) I am happy to be one less person on your friends list and feed, or if we chat frequently, I am happy to unfollow you and set my privacy settings so that we can only chat. If you speak to me abusively or hatefully, I wont even bother asking, I will just do it. No one, not even those being abusive, should be treated poorly over differences of opinion. If you wouldnt say it to my face, saying it online is just plain cowardly. ********** 1. Not explaining or refusing to explain doesnt mean you are wrong. I am an odd type of person, and people dont seem to understand that I enjoy hearing what people think and why exactly they think that way. In some cases, I think people might get threatened because they cant explain their way of thinking. Just because you dont want to or cant explain something logically doesnt mean it is untrue, invalid, or wrongful. For that matter, even though I can usually navigate my own beliefs and explain my viewpoints thoroughly and thoughtfully, many of my views have their own flaws. Some flaws have been pointed out and I am sure many havent. Sometimes I have changed my mind, and sometimes I have not, even knowing that my choice is not entirely logical. 2. Dont be a sheep. Differences of opinion is no reason to change your mind, and I wouldnt have one of my friends change their minds on the sole point that I said so. If you believe something, believe it, and if you change your mind, know why you changed your mind. If you dont do that, you are just being a sheep. I find far more flaw in being a sheep than being unable to find the right words to explain yourself. 3. Im not a know it all, I dont know enough. I discuss tough subjects with people. I dont do this because I know it all, but because I dont know a whole lot. What little I do know makes me have a certain viewpoint and I will bring it up (sometimes too eagerly) to prompt a back and forth. However, I am looking to learn more, to understand both sides clearly and make a choice based on everything, not just my own limited point of view. I reserve the right to understand your side without agreeing with it, but secretly my biggest hope is that my mind does get changed in an important way. My biggest epiphanies have come from the most innocent comments, the simplest lessons, the smallest moments of pondering and, most importantly, by me being wrong to start with. 4. Disagreeing doesnt equal disrespecting. If I am discussing with you, I am not trying to be confrontational. I may disagree, but I certainly dont mean any disrespect. Oddly enough, if I am engaging these conversations, it is generally because I do respect you and your opinions above others. (If I do not talk much with you like this, it may be because our views line up and/or I wont learn much from the interaction, and not necessarily because I do not respect you.) So if you want to discuss, I ask that you guys try to keep these things in mind, just as I will keep in mind if you tell me that you do not want me to get involved in these conversations to start with. 5. Dont be hateful, just tell me what you want or dont want. Please do not insult me, attack my character, speak abusively towards me or deteriorate a discussion into other childish acts simply because we have a difference of opinions. I would rather you say you no longer want to discuss something or tell me you have nothing else to say but you still think you are right. I have done that before and there is no shame in not having anything constructive to add. Its sad to me when I am trying to learn about you and your views and I am met with hate instead of with interest or disinterest. 6. Dont destroy ships over simple stuff. I have recently had a number of people stop discussing tough things with me. Some of them told me they didnt like to talk with me about tough topics for their own reasons and that they wanted me to not engage. I happily agreed to not engage anymore and we went about our merry ways. Others attacked me in hurtful ways that deeply damaged our friendships, relationships or whatever ships we had had together. After the fact, they either acted like nothing happened or told me they didnt want to discuss, after the damage was done. Either way, I discontinued the unwanted actions, but one way didnt destroy ships. Sorry that was long, but for those that read it, I hope you understand. Love yall!
Posted on: Tue, 05 Aug 2014 00:21:10 +0000
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