Hey facebook friends and family. I have never done this before and I am not sure why I am doing it now. I have always had an issue with people who just throw their personal lives out there for all the world to see, but here I go becoming one of those people. Once again, I opened my heart to someone to love and be loved, only to once again be rejected, hurt and have it crushed. This individual was remarkable, one like I have never met before. A great personality, a good sense of humor, the ability to communicate, affectionate, caring, giving, very good looking, a wonderful group of friends and the list goes on. They seem to have it all, including all the right words and actions to make me believe I had finally met someone that I truly could share my life with. However, there were some underlying issues that surfaced, and a tangled web of deception was woven. They were involved with someone else. Although there was not real love or commitment there, this individual holds the other person very high and when it came down to the truth being told, I was told friendship is far as we could go. Now I know this may all sound petty and even somewhat pathetic, but I had let down my guard and given my all to someone once again only to be hurt. As some of you know I have not had the best track record with relationships. My previous one lasted nearly 5 1/2 years. I wrapped myself up in it so tight trying to hold on, that I neglected friends who now I have drifted far apart from, leading me to where I am today. I am so lonely. I feel like I have reached the bottom of the barrel and have no idea where to turn. Why is it that as humans, we have such a strong desire to love and be loved? Even more so, why is so hard to find someone that truly has that same desire and is willing to give in return what is handed out to them? I know and accept the fact that I am not a perfect person. I have many faults and downfalls, but unlike a lot of people I know, I am willing to admit my inperfections and strive to improve who I am to become a better person. My mom has often told me that I love hard and fall even harder. I guess that is true. I just want the opportunity to love and be loved unconditinally, respect and be respected equally, share intimate moments and have that same intimacy returned equally, share laughs, share tears, love and share life with another that wants the same love that life offers. I have often heard that you cannot find true love or happiness until you first learn to love and be happy with yourself. I do believe this statement to be true, but how can one learn to do that when they find love and happiness within themselves, yet repeatedly have their self-worth, self-esteem, insecurities, emotions, feelings and heart trampled on by someone that love and believe in? Im just not sure it is worth it any more. I understand there is no one that has the answers nor can anyone take away the pain and heartache, but I am exposing my weaknesses hoping to gain some strength. At this point, I dont know that I can continue to search for something that I no longer believe in. I am also certain that I cannot continue living life feeling lonely, weary and tried. I am at my ropes end and just pray God has the answers and can give me the strength to pull my head out above the water before I drown in my own pitiful sorrow and lonliness. One thing is for sure, what you see on the outside is not always what is really hidden on the inside. Thank you all for listening to my poor pitiful me story. I wish you all love, happiness and joy in your lives and pray Gods divine blessings for each of you and your families. All my love, Mike
Posted on: Sat, 15 Mar 2014 19:55:46 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015