Hey guys, Im not really one that posts all of my business on facebook for everyone to see. However...Im probably at the door way of the darkest hallway on the way out of the maze I have surrounded myself in the last couple of years. Im here before all of you to ask you for help, some of you wont even bother to read this because you simply dont care. There are others of you whom already know where I stand, others who dont and will read and respond, and others who helped guide my fall, and then finally those of you whom will heed my call! Im 27 years old and I am a far from perfect. It was only 2 months ago that I found myself lost in the darkest corners of my mind, as well as in the darkest reaches of mankind. I have done things that I am not proud of in which you will all soon read about. Make no mistake Im not blaming anyone, nor am I bragging about any of this. In September of 2012 I found myself trying crystal meth for the first time...ever since that point I have slowly spiraled downward into a dismal place that has slowly but surely led to the loss of almost every material thing that I own. It took one year for me to fall under and not care about my own responsibilities and my electricity got cut off...since then...I havent bothered caring about myself until recently. I got my life in order and my house back in good standing in February of 2014 and it took 45 days for me to fall under and lose it all again. Ive bounced from place to place and surrounded myself with people whom I thought were my friends and thought cared about me and even more thought that I could help them in my own self pity. It took me until the end of July to finally seek out the people who really did care and really could help me...and finally I asked for the help that I needed. Whats more is that I was finally ready to accept the help that I was so desperately seeking. I turned at one point to my brother during the midst of my self created hell to ask for help..only to walk away angry and proud. I went to ask for help only to be treated like the enemy and pushed away...at which point I was on the street and had no where to go and no one to turn to. From there I went to other Family my Uncle Donny and my Aunt Lee and they gave me a place to stay. A few days had passed before I turned to seek help from a long time friend Blaze Dragonheart, whom at one point a year or more before offered to help and I said no, and finally asked him if he could help me out. I looked at this man and said Hey bro Im ready for that help, is it still available. Like real family... he pointed to the couch (Love seat at the time) and said This is all I can offer right now, but yea man I got you. A couple of days later I took off and found myself in a bad situation as to where some egotistical piece of shit decided that he was going to take advantage of someone who was at the lowest point in their life...and then suck what little bit of will that I had left and had me seeking death. This individual knows who he is, and unfortunately he had assistance from someone else whom hed brainwashed, at that point I didnt care weather or not I lived or died. I had no will to live, no want to push forward, no desire to even do anything to help myself in anyway what so ever. Soon after this point I ran...I ran from my promises, I ran from my responsibilities, I ran from myself, I ran from everyone and everything in hopes that reality would quickly fall behind. I was about 115lbs If I was lucky and I left with me and a backpack half full of cloths, completely unprepared. I arrived in Oklahoma with family a few days later...didnt really tell anyone that I was leaving and I had no intentions of coming back to Lubbock texas to my home or anyone here. I was broken, defeated, an empty shell, I was barely an existence. It took me 2.5 weeks to finally tell my aunt GiGi Whisenhunt Piper what was really going on in my life and how I had fallen so far from grace, mankind, and everything in between. However in that 2 weeks prior I slowly gained wait, gained faith, gained self confidence, and slowly turned to the people whom I knew who could slowly help me out of my dark and dismal place. And in 3 weeks time I had found myself happy to be alive, I wasnt just existing....I was living!!!!!!!! Without even trying to turn to the people I needed help from, without even bothering to find a beacon of hope, or trying to relight the flame of desire with in myself, I had surfaced from my own hell and slowly began to figure out the maze that I had left behind me on my way to darkness. Slowly I was letting people know how good that I was doing and I was finding out that others were slowly having good things happen to them. For me this became my new light as I felt as If I started a chain reaction of good hope and well being. I contacted blaze and his girlfriend Cindy Brown (I consider them family!!!). I contacted Paige Owens, Cathy CunninghamCallene Jung my uncle Kris. Anyone and everyone who was good for me and my life and I began to surround myself with them and allow them past my walls to help me as I so desperately needed. And now I am at an even bigger hurdle in my life and I need the help of everyone of you please...My house has been condemned by the city of Lubbock.... I have been fighting too hard the last six weeks to fail now...and I know that I cannot do this on my own. If you have anyway that you can help me please let me know. Im not asking for money or hand outs. If you have any old doors or frames that are any good, even some fencing, some spare time to help me do some work...ANYTHING I would forever in your debt. For those of you who have an understanding now of where I have been and why I havent been around to help or let anyone know that I was alright...and whom has bothered to read this message... I am sorry...I failed you all and myself, but I am back and I am better than ever. Nothing or no one is going to ever pull me down again...or I have a line of people waiting to kick my ass and am thankful for it! For those of you in my life that have helped me upon my journey since I have reached out for help and whom have been in my life for a long time. You have all missed me and told me to not disappear again and let me know how important I was and am in your lives. Thank you...this is the first public post on my account in a very long time and it wont be the last. I have nothing to hide from the world, because that only leads to darkness and I am tired of darkness. Im here to stay, Ive fought very hard, Im refusing to back down. This is the Dawn of a new era in my life and I have a huge handful of you to thank for various reasons....answering a phone call, listening to my problems, offering advice, food, shelter, a hug, even a swift kick in the ass! THANK YOU!!!
Posted on: Wed, 17 Sep 2014 02:41:47 +0000
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