Hi. I would like to spend some time and share a deep story of my life, something that most people dont usually feel comfortable expressing to others, but with me sharing my life experiences will hopefully inspire and open your faith and love with not only yourself but also to humanity and to hope to change the world for the better so i hope you all will take some time and read this.. and hopefully share this with others. I have created a new facebook indicating starting a new life and wanted to share with everyone on my friends list so far ------------------------------------------------------------ My name is Shar, I am 27 years old and i suffer a what they call a anxiety and depression disorder. It is a disorder that cant be treated or fixed... but only handled. There have been many times in my life when i was younger that i was bedridden from suffering too many panic attacks and couldnt get out of bed for weeks at a time. It is a disorder that my mind and body has an extremely tough time coping with negative thoughts and feelings and turn of events. Its like my mind just decided to stop working. I also have an extremely tough time being alone somewhere, anywhere without having an anxiety/panic attack. It is a disfunction in the brain that cant be helped. Throughout my whole younger life, I was bullied, beaten, made fun of, pointed and laughed at, and ignored. all this did was make my disorder worsen. I was suicidal at one point in my life, and 2 more times later on. Throughout my life, though many have said that theyd be there for me noone ever followed through, so again, i was always rejected and ignored. Years have gone by batteling my faith in humantiy, then one day, everything started to subside and life was beginning to be clear to me again and the sun was starting to shine down on me. Untill one day about 3 weeks ago, my life has turned for the worse it has ever been. At the time, i didnt understand what and why God took my life away from me. In a matter of about one hour, yes ONE hour, i lost everything. I lost all the money in my bank due to heavy medical expenses that i have posponed for years, i lost contact with my family hating me for focusing too much on MY life and not family, i lost virtually all my friends, i lost my job due to not being able to handle work mentally without losing control on my thoughts and mentality and i lost my loved one. All that, in a matter of ONE hour, all dissinagrated away from my life. This ws my midlife crisis. I didnt know what to do. I had nobody to go to that i could physically trust to go for comfort anymore I had lost all my money to medical expenses, i had no food at home (for reasons that was done on purpose) i soon was going to lose my place to not being able to pay for rent. I hit an all time low. I didnt know what to do, i didnt know who to go to for help. I was in a dead end. For the next week after that, my anxiety/depression has sky rocketed to the limit. I needed a home soon, i needed food to eat, i needed a companion to talk to, a had to hold, a shoulder to cry on, but couldnt find any of that. I was getting really hungry. Believe it or not, i started pan handling for a bit out on the streets just to survive and get some food. I was running out of options. I wanted to die just so i didnt have to experience what i was experiencing. One day last week, when i had some gas money, i decided to take a drive to Seattle, just to walk around the city and to try and clear my mind from all the evil that has darkened on me. It was getting late, the sun was down and i was still walking around seattle around the gameworks area. I needed to find myself. Who am I? Why am I here? What is my purpose in life? What is humanties purpose in life? I kept asking those questions to myself over and over again while at the same time wondering when am i going to be able to eat again Where do i sleep here in a few days On the streets? In a train station? I was starting to go nuts. My mind has wondered in thoughts that no human being should ever think about. That one deadly word that can change everything *suicide* Shortly after that, i ran into an incident that was occuring on the corner down the street from gameworks. It was about 1:30am i was walking around alone when i saw a homeless man sitting against a business building, being harrassed and abused by these 2 young kids. I couldnt help myself but to try and save thst homeless mans life. Right before i approached him, these 2 other older gentlemen with their wives/girlfriend came to the rescue and dissapated the bullies away from the homeless man. By that time, i arrived and noticed that the homeless was severelt beaten, bruised up, and bled a lot. I called 911 and before the police arrived, me and the 4 brave heroes tried to comfort the man, clean him up and give him support. Without a blink of an eye, a miracle has happened. Within minutes, there were probably over 100 people showed up to the scene and all contributed to help the poor man out. We all gave food, money, anything to help. I took my coat off and wrapped it around this man. I knew he was cold. He had no shoes on, no socks, and very little hope left of life. Just then, the police arrived to contribute his faith in humanity. Shortly after that, right when we all saw a struggling smile on the homeless mans face, showing his appreciation, he passed away quietly. The police reacted immediately, got medic and backup. While all that was happening, i looked in the corner of my eye and in the middle of the street, i saw the original 4 young generous people thst helped out first, got together, held hands and started praying. I then joined, and many others followed. I gave my prayers out loud for everyone to hear. The police knew what was happening so they just left us alone. This turn of event has shown me what the true meaning of life was. And that is TO GIVE TO OTHERS if you have the chance to, give to others. Everybody knows what it feels like to be in the dump. Everyone knows what it feels like to be less fortunate. So if anybody has an opportunity to help someone. Do it. Even the smallest act of kindness can change the faith and hope of someones life dramatically. Little did i know, that the man that i prayed with that night, was a University of Washington US speech sposorship. He has seen my contribution to this homeless man and asked me why did i make this such a big deal? I can tell by the look in your eyes that your struggling yourself in your own life, so why take your time out to help others first? I was shocked that he knew that i was struggling myself. I couldnt help but to cry when he asked me that I told him my life story and also said to him because i know whats it like to be less furtunate. I know whats it like to not have anybody in your life, to be alone, to feel belittled by humanity. I know what its like to be bullied and beaten. I wouldnt want anybody to be alone. I know how it feels. I suffer through anxiety/depression disorder myself, i know how hard it is to feel alone in life. I felt for the homeless man. And if i ever find opportunities to help someone out in need, then ill do it. Because i just learned that the purpose in life is to give. Imagine a world where more people are more giving. This world would be so much more peaceful and comforting. I wanted to show my act of kindness another random person then asked me how i felt about helping this bum i said Hes not a bum sir, hes a human being. Just like all of us From then on, i joined this mans UW team and became a proud volunteered motivational speaker for his sponcorship. Though it is unpaid, i am proud to give my personal words to society and to hope to change the world around. At the same time, im back with working with the management team through the Mcdonalds Franchise working along side one the best Directors i have ever met. Ive learned a lot that night. And i hope this all touched you too. Though im still struggling through my survival in life fighting for food, for money for shelter, even with a job, i am so glad to have helped another person in need. God rest his amazing soul. Im pretty sure none of this would have happened and i wouldnt have experienced this if I hadnt been fired from Snoqualmie Casino. It was awful tasting medicine, but I guess the patient needed it. Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Dont lose faith. Youve got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you havent found it yet, keep looking. Dont settle. As with all matters of the heart, youll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Dont settle. Believe Have faith Hope you cant connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life. Thank you all for taking time in reading this extremely long post. i wish you all the best, and God bless you all. I hope you all share my story to everyone and please, if any of you have an opportunity to give a act of kindness to someone, give it. You never know thst ot may change someones life or even safe their life. Thank you. Shar Pi *a companion to the forgotten*
Posted on: Wed, 09 Jul 2014 02:50:39 +0000
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