Hi Zane! Im a huge fan of your work and I also enjoy reading your advice column! But I need your advice! Im 24, 4 months pregnant with my first baby, Im happy about my child but depressed also! My parents are deceased, but I have my brothers and sister... I have a job but my pregnancy has been a tough one so I cant work often, which means my money is tight! My babys father is a man I have known for close to 10yrs... He and I were in a 5yr relationship but broke up 3yrs ago... But we were still apart of each others lives... You can say we never moved on... Anywho... He has a great job but doesnt want to help me financially... He is all about anything that has to do with the baby but not just me yet Im carrying his child!!! I would never ask him for money if I didnt truly need it! Ive taken care of myself for yrs but this is new territory for me!!! My question is am I wrong for being hurt that he wont help me until I can get back on my feet!!! Id appreciate any advice!!! Thank you, signed Hurt n Confused! MY RESPONSE: No, you are not wrong for being hurt but you need to accept the fact that he will not help financially until the baby arrives. There is no such thing as pregnancy support and since you are not in an official relationship, meaning he is not in love, then he is not attached enough to you to worry about your issues. I am sorry this is happening but you are going to have to figure this out because as your pregnancy progresses, it will be more difficult to make ends meet. Cut off everything that is not essential, and that means cable if you have it, and even your cell phone if you have one. Buy everything you can from the dollar store instead of regular stores like soap, toilet tissue, etc. Only eat in and stretch out the food as much as you can. You will be fine but no, you are not wrong. The two of you made the baby together and took the risk together. He should be willing to help but this happens when you get pregnant by someone who is not technically your man. Good luck.
Posted on: Sun, 13 Jul 2014 12:27:50 +0000