Hi my love..today is 6 months since you left us..6 months since my world fell apart..what used to be so easy is so hard now, and Im so broken without you..but everyday I thank god for giving me you even if it was only for 19 years..I wouldnt be here today if it wasent for the prayers and the help of Joe, family and friends..i was going through things last night and came across a beautiful poem you gave me, I remember when you gave me that your eyes were watching me read it as my eyes teared up and you start smiling I looked at you and your eyes were tearing too, I smiled and told you how beautiful it was and thanked you for being so thoughtful..you had a heart of gold my girl, and thought of everyones feeling..im so sorry my baby for not being there that night..i think back too that day, it was a sunny, cold morning and I was going crazy, begging and pleading too god, praying, telling him I would change my life for you, I remember my heart pounding so loud and when I called by Tuelon I was told the saddest news I could ever hear, a calmness came over me and I got myself together and prepared myself for what had too be done..still too this day I wondered where that calmness came from, about 2 months ago I was reading heaven is for real and a story about King David is in there when he lost his son, he begged, pleaded and cried, when his son died he was calm his servants wondered why he was so calm and he said I thought god would change his mind but he didnt, and so he planned his funeral..it reminded me of that day, I couldnt bring you back, so I remember thinking as tears rolled down my cheeks about your funeral and how I wanted it too be special and pretty for you..still today I think how did I do that and I know it was the power of god that gave me that calmness and the strength to plan your funeral, and I had too let you go, I have too let you rest, and I know your safe in the arms of Jesus and I believe thats what gets me through the day..i think how I had to learn how too raise you, how to teach you things, how I had to learn to adjust too school with you, I had to learn how too adjust too work with you, I had to learn how too talk too you as you got older, I had to learn how too let you grow up, I had to learn how too let you move out alone and now I have too learn how too live without you and it hurts so bad,nothing seems too go right anymore, but one thing I never had to learn was how too love you that came the instant you start growing in me, we love each other unconditionally and im so thankful for you by baby girl..half a year has come and its harder today..love you miss you
Posted on: Mon, 22 Sep 2014 14:38:31 +0000
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