Hi my name is Sue and I am a recovering co-dependant. I first - TopicsExpress

Hi my name is Sue and I am a recovering co-dependant. I first said those words close to fifteen years ago when I sat in a quiet room next to a very busy city street every Monday and Friday afternoon learning how to be myself instead of the person I thought I needed to be to stay married. I learned in those rooms that I had a problem. My problem was that I didnt know who In was. I had no idea how I felt and my only real goal in being there was to figure out what I needed to do to be able to stay married to my then husband. But what I learned in those rooms would change me in untold ways - much bigger ways than I could ever have imagined and in the end I realised that the true goal of my life wasnt to stay married no matter what the cost - the real goal of my life needed to be to uncover the mountain I had buried myself beneath! In recovery I learned who I am. I learned that I had spent all my life abandoning myself in order to make everyone around me ok. I left myself when I was being abused. I buried myself under the expectations of others. I ignored my own needs. I forgot that I had wants. And I let my hopes and dreams for life drift away as if they were unwanted rubbish. I had no idea any more what I longed for or what I needed. I was so used to pushing my own wants aside. In recovery I came home. I came home to myself. I stopped trying to be what I thought everyone else needed and wanted me to be and I began to allow who I really am to emerge. I reconnected the dots that made up the picture of ME! I unzipped the skin I had been forming and building and allowed who I really am to slip out! I set myself free! The problem with becoming someone we are not to please others is that in the end it isnt us they like or care about - its some sort of cardboard cut-out version of ourselves anyway! We end up with people around us who like some false version of ourselves and then we have to live up to this image instead of being free! Today is a good day to let yourself be who you really are. Take even one tiny step towards setting her/him free and let yourself begin the most awesome journey you will ever take - the journey home to being yourself! Love and hugs ~ Sue

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