Hmmm.... Interesting. I have been defaulting to fear, on and off, over these past 22 hours since posting my official declaration of my new name. One of the patterns in my life, that I came to deeply recognize over the course of my journey these past couple of years, was the over-reactive, super-low-threshold setting of my fear response. I experienced a childhood trauma at the age of 4 (that I have come to know resulted in a near death experience), and my amygdala, the part of the brain housing our fight or flight response, got stuck in overdrive. As I look back on my life I can sense that both the fear of living, and the fear of death, were a part of the fear-filled default setting for my life. As a result, I numbed out to much of life, often stuck in over-busyness to try to outrun the ghosts of my past. And then, once I jumped off of the crazed hamster wheel, I got mired in the quicksand of ‘freeze’ and ‘faint’ and could not seem to find my way out of a paper bag, afraid of what lay beyond its borders. So today, as I feel into the fear of stepping into a new world, with a new name, on a new path, I have been doing an amygdala resetting practice. I take this moment to look around my room, right where I am in this moment of typing this note, and I ask myself, “Is there any true danger in this room, in this house in this moment? Because if there is, dear amygdala, I want to know about it and respond to it in a very appropriate way." I see, upon my awareness, that indeed there is no true danger and I put the amygdala back to its resting setting, with deep appreciation for how it has worked to keep me safe and alive to live another day to grow and expand in loving expression of the Divine Love and Light that I believe I am: that I believe you are. Thank you, for being in my world. If you ever notice me in unnecessary FEAR (False Evidence Appearing Real) would consider lovingly bringing that to my attention? Thank you! I really appreciate your support in this:)
Posted on: Mon, 09 Sep 2013 17:18:54 +0000
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