Hmmm……missing you…lazing around on a Sunday…..missing you….you should be here……………want to laze around with you………its incredible…..the intensity and amount…with which I miss you…taking even me by surprise…..its amazing……the realization…of what you have to mean to me…….all of you…..your fire as much as your sweetness…. The…..the…the oneness…I feel with you……..despite our mis-starts………they serve to remind…..the force of our cosmic attraction……..inevitable pull……the pull I feel from you……….despite your actions that push me away…..yet…we keep colliding……..again and again….almost as if ..we are…meant to be…….Shake….Shake…..oh my Shake…..what am I supposed to do?...believe?.......you were this close……this close to me……..say it…say it…you said twice….i should have just said it……I love you……….i love you Shake…..i love you my Shake……….no I don’t wanna control you….no I don’t want to curb your fire….your independence……..but surely…we can line up yours with mine…mine with yours……….arguing about the silliest things…….words said that reflect not what is being said…but the frustration of being kept apart for a year…..even longer…….harsh words……that mean something else……that imply the closeness……that comes so naturally between us……so rare…………soooo rare……..soul mates……for example…you said…….so now you are keeping score….it left me speechless momentarily….but what does it imply…..hit me later……do you even think of me so much….are comfortable enough with me….to say that to me……..for it to even occur to you that I may be possibly keeping score………why? How?...we hardly talk……why would I keep score….both knowing deep in our hearts….we cannot deny….the pull…….yet…..circumstances……situation…….making us say things……….that mean almost the opposite of what is being said………the frustration of not being able to be out in the open…………..venting in different forms……..how many guys have you shared your life facts with…….even the ones you date………..how many women……do I go around telling my personal life facts…………………we hardly talk…..why did I feel compelled to tell you…..i have only been with one woman……………….why was I comfortable enough with you to tell you that……….Shake……my Shake…don’t you see………how can you walk away from this?...how can we not confront our feelings…….there is no other way…..believe me…there is no other way….we need to talk….that is all I have been begging….asking of you…..talk to me….talk to me at length….uninterrupted……talk to me….we need to talk……..baby….we need to talk…..we cannot afford to lose more time…..time is one thing that doesn’t come back………what if I get hit by a truck tomorrow……not going to happen….but you get my point………… Stop using your defense mechanisms against me……I am not one of the guys you have dealt with so far….I am not. Please unlearn what your experiences have taught you. Trust me once. I will not hurt you. I will not let you down. I will not lie to you. I do not want you to give up any part of you to me. For once, just once, take me at face value. I have no hidden agenda, no ulterior motive. I know that is not the way of the world, especially this society. I know you have grown up different than me. I know I am different even where I come from. I know the more someone says trust me, the more you doubt their intentions. I never go around asking people to trust me, cuz it doesn’t really matter to me if they do or not. But you do. You matter. You are the only one that matters. Trust me. I am not egoistic, but I have a healthy dose of self respect and principles that give me my self assuredness. I am very self assured in both my abilities and my thinking, my intentions. I have no desire to change you, conquer you, overpower your thinking, win the battle….anything of the sort. I just love you and want to know how you feel. I want to uncover the truth. All I want to do…..is tell you……what a special woman you are……and how much I love you……. How very much. I miss you. Deep inside me. In my bones. In my heart. In my soul. In every cell of my body. I don’t have you, yet I miss you. In my mind, I am yours. Already. I want to know if you are mine. I love you. Anything you do, anything you have done, I am with you. A 100%. Think about it, the last year, any decision you have made, whether based on facts or miscommunications, I have supported you. Every decision you have made, I have stood by it, honored it. I will do the same. Always. It was never about a meal with you, I just want time to talk to the woman I love. I want to express my love. I want to say all this to your face, looking in your eyes. But most importantly, I want to hear you. Whats in your heart, your mind. What do you feel? What does your soul say. I love you. Have a great day.
Posted on: Sun, 04 Aug 2013 18:18:49 +0000
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