Hot off the Presses (the Indo) Richard Brutal has announced that there will be NO UNEMPLOYMENT by 2018.....this will be as a result of Emigration, Job Scam being compulsory for EVERYONE under the age of 40, anyone OVER 45 still claiming to be unemployed being shot on sight as ISIS (Im Still an Irish Scrounger) welfare fundamentalist terrorists, who will be shot & buried by those on benefits BETWEEN the ages of 40 and 45. This will be done by them volunteering , but they are expected to provide their own guns & bullets, in addition to shovels at their own expense.Penis OBrien has established both a Munitions and Shovel manufacturing companies, and is quoted to have said I hope my bid for the mandatory supply these items is successful Meanwhile in Paris, Dame Edna Kenny announced to the world, in his best Mayo Frog accent JAujourdhui, je suis maintenant un prick while being battered by CRS policemen as he tried to chain himself to Angele Merkel, claiming to be her favourite Paddy gimp and showed visible signs of upset at not being allowed anywhere near the first 3 rows of world leaders who had gathered to condemn the Charlie Edbo massacre. Charlie (is he STILL alive?) Flanagan announced as Minister for something or Other that Irish people must remain vigilant & very much on alert, along with several other meaningless PR soundbites, talking at a news conference for15 minutes & saying absolutely nothing. Frances Fitzgerald, Minister for Law (Justice was scrapped after Shatter was turfed out) has announced that she will fully brief her cabinet colleagues on the security situation & is keeping an open mind on the ongoing position.........which as we all know is Garda Parlance for we havent a FU%KING CLUE whats going on ...or why Leo Verruca, previously Minister for sticking his nose into EVERYTHING except his own portfolio, is in hospital, awaiting a trolley vacancy. He is due to undergo surgery to be forcible removed from Dame Ednas arse. , where he has been residing for the past number of years. This is an allowable business expense.Not to be excluded from the parade of idiots, Baldy Noonan has announced that Goldman Sachs (one of the Bondholders) are to advise the government (for a fee of €25billion, which can be borrowed from the ECB) on how little they can sell off AIB to Penis OBrien for... Lasssth, & by no meanth Leath, Pathkill O Donnawhooo hath revealed the new bondholder logo ath well ath the new FG/Labour logo. He thed that the FG /Labour logo thowed thingth ath they are...the tail doethnt wag the dog and thith those our Gloriouth leader, Dame Edna, rigthfully thitting on thop of that Labour perthon & croth drether, John Burton. He wittered on for an hour, to noone whatsoever before getting on his bike and disappearing The presidential elf on the shelf, and Gnome without a home,Mickey Twee Higgles has announced he hopes to visit Ireland some time in 2016.... .lthough nothing has been confirmed yet........ If U enjoy this, then please feel free to re-post to as many people as U like.and ALL comments are appreciated too....and if Ud like to DO something about whats going on, please check out unitedpeople.ie and consider joining!!! Tubbs aka LemmyAFiver
Posted on: Wed, 14 Jan 2015 21:17:16 +0000
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