How It All Started I wasnt claiming my perfection I even came here out of need. I wasnt looking for attention just someplace my soul could bleed. The wounds in me infected with fear and doubt and hate. I came looking for some healing and I didnt want to wait. So long buried in the darkness of the shadows of my mind. I didnt know if help thered be or if death is what Id find. It was the middle of December on a cold and lonely night. I rose up from where I lay and then I sat down to write. I meant no harm to anyone I made no effort to deceive. Still somewhere deep inside my heart I wanted to believe. I prayed that out there somewhere in the words that I would share. Would be someone just like me and they would know I care. The reason for my being here. What makes it all worthwhile. Is in my mind those I help find a reason just to smile. Edwin C Hofert This is as close as I can get to an accurate description of where I was two years ago. Mentally exhausted. Physically and spiritually broken. I had let God down so many times I couldnt bring myself to pray knowing I would only disappoint Him again. But somehow in mercy and in grace he saw through my brokenness and started using my poetry to help others. I had no idea or even hope that in helping others I might find help for me. I am not where I had hoped to be from then until now. I still have my own struggles and find that there are things I still need to let go of. While no one can imagine the gratitude I feel for those that have supported me in my efforts. I feel the negative energy of my critics. I know they are many. Yet I see them as a confirmation I am on the right track. There are days like today they feel like a huge weight around my neck trying to silence me. But if they only knew the hell I was in when God began to use me. They would never question whether or not He could use me now. My hope for now is that they might find a hobby. Something they enjoy as much as hurting others. And that a year from now I will be exactly where God wants me to be. Ed
Posted on: Fri, 24 Oct 2014 05:05:08 +0000
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