How To Be A Facebook Asshole 1- Act one way, then expect everyone else to act differently. If they dont, lambaste them, without even asking if you are understanding them. 2- Expect that everyone will agree with your posts, no matter how unorthodox, stupid, or even offensive, they are. When someone disagrees, defame them, or for the ultimate blow, unfriend them! MMA has nothing on you!!! 3- Dont bother with arguments. You have no need to prove your point. It goes without saying you are always correct. 4- Whine and make personal attacks when you realize you dont really know what youre talking about. 5- Have no respect for people who may be more educated than you. I regularly do doctors jobs for them, and sometimes moonlight at NASA. 6- Throw around vulgarities and insults at people you know, or dont know! Cause God knows, this doesnt mean you seem insecure or defeated! 7- Post without thinking. I mean, its not like anyone is reading this stuff. 8- Flip the bird or the peace sign. Its original. 9- Brag brag brag! 10- Assume Facebook is your personal diary, but invite people who kiss your ass to write to you. 11- Unfriend anyone who doesnt suck your ass. Regularly. 12- Post your photos every day so you can be told how gorgeous you are. 13- Act like Christine Quirk: I dont care if Philip Seymour Hoffman is dead from an overdose, and Is that a woman? in reference to a picture of Michael Moores wife. These are direct quotes 14- Act like Vic Russomano and Lou Conte, who think their guns absolve them of the need to learn proper reading and thinking skills. If their writing was intelligible, I would quote it. (Hey, unlimited car washes for six months- only $2,000!!!!) 15- Act like Holly Sensakovic and Racheal Bowser and take your drug addled behavior out on the people trying to help you. 16- Post under different names and with different pictures, so we cant figure out who the hell you are. Then get mad. 17- Write, write, and write some more, cause youre really good at it. 18- Post endlessly, even though you have done zero work to understand what you are posting about. 19- Dont respect teachers, academics, etc, who have busted their asses to actually provide accurate information to people. You were born with all you need- basically your mouth and asshole. 20- Always claim that no one, especially teachers, work nearly as hard as you do. Cause its true. Really......
Posted on: Sat, 14 Jun 2014 18:15:37 +0000
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