How to Pick Up on Manipulative Behavior: Manipulation refers to making attempts at indirectly influencing someone elses behavior or actions. As human beings, our emotions often cloud our judgments making it difficult to see the reality behind hidden agendas or motives in different forms of behavior. The controlling aspects or shrewdness linked to manipulation are sometimes very subtle and may be easily overlooked, buried under feelings of obligation, love, or habit. Here are some ways to pick up on manipulative behavior occurring around you, so that you can sort it rather than jump to it. Understand the characteristics of a manipulative personality. Theyre not always obvious because they play a silent game of building up obligations toward them, that end up with you feeling guilty, pressured, and obliged to carry out things for their sake even though youre still wondering how things got to this point. Some of the characteristics of a manipulative personality include: A martyr style personality. This personality type behaves as if he or she is being considerate toward others but is actually messing up considerateness with a need to be significant to you. By martyring themselves, they are doing things nobody has asked of them or wants them to do but in the process creates a bind when they do them. In doing you a favor, their expectation increases that you have to return the favor. They may also complain constantly about all the things they do for you and wonder rhetorically when youre going to return this favor... Excessively needy and dependent personalities. People who feel uncomfortable in their own skin, putting forth their own opinions and ideas can often hide behind manipulative behavior so that it seems as if you are responding on your own accord even though theyve set up everything to have you respond directly to their neediness. Narcissists. This is the archetypal manipulative personality and its very hard to deal with this master manipulator. You. Seriously, at one time or other, every single one of us practices manipulative behaviors in one form or other. It is just that for most people, manipulative actions tend to be one-off or only occasional instances rather than a purposeful map for daily living and interaction with others. Note the possible types of ways in which people try to manipulate one another. The guilt trip – this manipulative behavior seeks to make you feel guilty and is aimed at sending you into the land of should rather than standing up for your own values. The assumption statement – this manipulative tactic seeks to turn your behavior into what the beholder perceives it as, whether or not their interpretation is accurate. Soon leads to a guilt trip because no matter what, your refutation is proof of the assumption. He said, she said – this manipulative ploy is pseudo-sociology in action. The manipulator takes it upon themselves to tell you what someone else said was the right thing to do. Its a handy way of pushing aside the responsibility from themselves while loading it all onto you. The confronting statement – this manipulative approach is about causing an argument. That way, the provoker will end up making you feel terrible over something you didnt do or say but for which you ought to feel guilty anyway and theyll get a huge chunk of sympathy with which to manipulate you all over again. Self-pity: But Im so unloved/sick/victimized, etc. – At times each one of us has times when were really in need of some tender self-care but long-term manipulators can make a habit of being the victim or the one needing special attention.
Posted on: Sat, 24 May 2014 10:29:23 +0000
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