How to Think Before Speaking 1. Observe yourself: Take note of when this happens to you. What circumstances led to your saying things that, later, you wish you had said differently? Does it happen mostly with one particular person (or group of people)? Is it most often in arguments or debates? Is it when you’re "on the spot" for information? Try to find a pattern. It might be helpful to start a journal of events so you can compare these at your leisure. 2. Recognize your situation: After you determine what circumstances might be most likely to produce this unwanted effect, try to be very observant about when those conditions appear to be manifesting. The more skilled you become at recognizing this, the better you will be at changing your approach. 3. Observe the conversation: Now that you know you’re in one of "those" situations, the goal is for you to process information. Often when we respond in a less than appropriate way, it’s because we didn’t fully comprehend what was being said. This is the time to sit back and listen to what’s going on around you. Don’t start focusing on what you’re going to say; just absorb. Your mind will process this information in the background. 4. Observe the people: Who is speaking and how do they communicate? Some people are very literal and some people use examples. 5. Formulate responses: Not just one, but consider your options. There are many different ways to say things. and your goal here is to find the best way to convey what you want to say in a way that has a positive impact. 6. Consider the information: Is what you want to say Effective, Necessary, Accurate, Timely, and Appropriate (ENATA)? If you are just responding because other people are talking. 7. Gauge the reaction: Is the information you’re going to present formulated in a way to make a positive impact? Creating a negative atmosphere will guarantee failure in communications. 8. Be thoughtful about your tone: How you say it is, in many ways, as important as what you say. Tone of voice can convey enthusiasm and sincerity, or it can rebuff and show sarcasm, and as most people have experienced, what we say can be taken in the wrong way. 9. 9 Communicate: You now know what you’ll say, why it’s ENATA, how you’ll say it and the most likely reaction. Wait for an appropriate break in the conversation and speak. It’s usually best not to interrupt, although there are occasions when that will work best. When to interrupt is beyond the scope of this document.
Posted on: Tue, 18 Jun 2013 15:06:39 +0000
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