How to deal with anger problems and issues in relationships and marriage Gen 49:5-7 KJV (5) Simeon and Levi are brethren; instruments of cruelty are in their habitations. (6) O my soul, come not thou into their secret; unto their assembly, mine honour, be not thou united: for in their anger they slew a man, and in their selfwill they digged down a wall. (7) Cursed be their anger, for it was fierce; and their wrath, for it was cruel: I will divide them in Jacob, and scatter them in Israel. There is nothing that kills relationships and marriages faster than what I want to write about today. Anger! In the above verses, Simeon and Levi are brothers, but their combination was a tragedy! Both of them had anger problems. What was the eventuality? They were divided and scattered! That is exactly what happens to two angry unrepentant people in a relationship or marriage. That relationship or marriage cannot survive it. Look at the way the Message translation puts it: Gen 49:5-7 MSG (5) Simeon and Levi are two of a kind, ready to fight at the drop of a hat. (6) I dont want anything to do with their vendettas, want no part in their bitter feuds; They kill men in fits of temper, slash oxen on a whim. (7) A curse on their uncontrolled anger, on their indiscriminate wrath. Ill throw them out with the trash; Ill shred and scatter them like confetti throughout Israel. One angry person can curse a lot of havoc, not to talk of two angry couples or couples-to-be! Are you the type or person that is ready to fight at the drop of a hat? You need to consciously and deliberately start working on that anger problem because it can ruin precious opportunities. There is a place for a level of anger because we are all human. There is also a place for righteous indignation. But the type of anger that is dangerous is the one that lingers unnecessarily and makes you do things you will later regret. This type of anger is almost a stupid one because you know you will eventually regret your words and actions! Ecc 7:9 KJV Be not hasty in thy spirit to be angry: for anger resteth in the bosom of fools. Message translation is quite interesting: Ecc 7:9 MSG Dont be quick to fly off the handle. Anger boomerangs. You can spot a fool by the lumps on his head. I once heard Bishop Oyedepo in one of his messages, where he said he used to have anger problems until he read the above scriptures. In the early days of our marriage, I get angry very easily. It was a kind of subdued anger, not enough for me to raise my hands against my wife! I have never done that and will never do that, no matter what! That is not a manly thing to do! It is unscriptural, and it your prayers will be hindered when you raise your hands against a lady. But, I used to be impatient. I am a quick person but my wife takes her time. I wanted to change her. When I am angry, I start lecturing my wife. After a while, I just had to change because the lecturing thing was not working. I had to learn early in marriage, to calm down when I am angry and then discuss. Over the years, I have come to learn to smile at some of the things that get me bothered and aggravated, and looking back at those years, I wondered why I had to be angry in the first place! We were not meant to be the same way! A book on temperament I read delivered me! If you are in a relationship with someone who flies off the handle easily, learn to seek help. Don’t just keep quiet and don’t think he would just change naturally. It takes deliberate efforts to realize and then change! If you are married to someone with anger problem, here is an advice for you. Pro 15:1 KJV A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger. Pro 15:1 MSG A gentle response defuses anger, but a sharp tongue kindles a temper-fire. Don’t get angry together and at the same time! Learn to calm down for one another! Get books and read and deal with than anger so that you don’t end up raising angry children who will take the anger to another level. If you are in a relationship wherein both of you have serious anger problems and are not patient for each other, that is not too good. Start working on it now, so that your coming together which is supposed to translate into strength will not be the other way round. Pro 16:32 KJV He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty; and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city. A few things to do if you have problems with anger 1. Pray about it and ask God to help you by His Spirit 2. Seek help from your pastor or mentors 3. Stay in God’s word. Your soul can be restored when you meditate regularly in God’s word 4. Get good books that address the weakness and study 5. Discuss with your finance/spouse and look at how you can deal with the weakness 6. Learn to keep quiet when you are angry. You often say things you will regret later, but the words, like swords could have done the harm.
Posted on: Thu, 30 Jan 2014 09:12:23 +0000
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