How to kill a LION- Newspaper Style (A must read for all ad sales guys) 1)TOI method- Hire a lion,give him full rest,pay him more than his expectations,never ask for anything in the first 3 months. After 3 months tell him that u have to achieve ur yearly target in 9 months,lion dies of fear that if he does not achieve this he will lose d jungle. 2) Dainik Bhaskar method- Hire a lion,give him a hell lot of work,pay him fat salary more than the industry. Restructure his job as per ur fancies every 6 months. If he kills 2 goats a day,next day give him a target of killing 20 elephants a day while knowing that there are only 10 elephants available. Lion dies of exhaustion and overkill. 3) Amar Ujala method- Hire a lion and give him a post of a cat, than force the lion to meow like a cat. Give him lots of ESOPs and grass to eat.Lion will eventually die of hope and starvation. 4) Rajasthan Patrika method- Hire a lion and set a cut off time,give the lion spoon instead of knife and ask him to extract 60kg meat out of 40kg goat or else the lion will be forced to become a dog. Lion dies out of frustration and strain 5) HT method- Hire a lion and give him a 3000 page circular on how to kill a goat.Amend the circular atleast 3times a week.send the lion in the jungle to inspect how he can cancel the licence of fox,wolf or jackal who have violated the 3000page circular. Lion dies of stagnation and boredom. 6) ABP Method- Hire a lion and give him 60kg of meat to eat everyday when he can eat only 30kg. Lion dies of overeating. 7) Deccan Chronicle Method- Recruit a lion,ask him to kill an elephant without any cut or blood from the body. Lion is forced to learn from ducks,rabbits and pigeons on how to kill dinosaurs. Lion is provided with 2 wolves to help in killing but with a condition that the wolves will not move or attack. Lion dies of confusion and paradoxes. 8) Naidunia method- Naidunia is out of race as they r still thinking as to what is a lion.
Posted on: Mon, 17 Jun 2013 16:29:03 +0000